Jeremiah and Belly | You're my Best Friend

Chapter Eleven: Goodbye.

      I've been avoiding talking to Jeremiah about our relationship. I mean, since we found out about Susannah, we haven't really been talking as much. He is focused on his mom, as he should be, but this just means that we never talked about what is gonna happen when I have to leave. Which is tomorrow. Tonight is my last night here. I have packed, and I have said my goodbyes to the ocean and to the girls. It's the next three goodbyes I am not ready for. This summer has gone by unbelievably fast. It feels like we were arriving just yesterday. On the last night, we all always do something together. We aren't allowed to go out. We stay in, together. It makes sense, really. We decide to watch a movie. Grease. One of our favorites. Me and Jeremiah always used to sing "Summer Nights." as a duet. Little did I know we'd end up actually falling in love. I pull him to the side while we make popcorn. I have to talk to him at some point. "Can we talk?" I ask him. "Uh. Um yeah sure." He tells me. "I know we haven't been seeing eachother much since... everything." I start. "But I'm leaving tomorrow and I just wanted to know.." I didn't finish the sentence, I figured he got the gist. "Oh." He says, not surprised. "Belly I love being with you, even though it's been rough lately.". Not exactly the answer I was looking for, but whatever. I nod and we sit with everyone on the couch and watch the movie. I can't stop thinking about what he said during the whole movie. He loves being with me. Well duh! Who wouldn't? I want more... How about "I love you Belly."? That's better.

• • •
     I'm getting ready for bed and I'm still thinking about everything with Jeremiah. We barely have spoken since we found out about Susannah's cancer. I just needed something, anything, to get me through the next 9 and 1/2 months without him. But he didn't give me that. I throw open my door and barge in his room. "Why couldn't you tell me you love me?" I ask him, not yelling, but definitely with an angry tone. He looks so confused. "Belly wh-". "Earlier. That's all I needed from you. An I love you. But you didn't give it to me. And don't give me that confused bullshit because I know you do. I know you love me. And I know a lot of shit's been going on but why couldn't you just give me that before I leave?". He looks at his feet. "I..." He says. "Do you love me..?" He asks. What the fuck. Why can't he just answer the question. Does he really not love me? I shouldn't have just assumed he did. I can't find an answer. Of course I love him. I can't decide if I'm sad or mad. Really, he didn't do anything wrong, I can't be mad at him. "I do." I mumble. "I'm sorry." I say as I walk out. He doesn't make an effort to follow me out. I'm leaving tomorrow and we are worse than we ever have been before. I find it hard to sleep, what with all the crying I did. This sounds so stupid, so extra. But I needed a reason not to go. A reason to stay. With him and Susannah.

• • •
     I wake up with a massive headache from last night, and a fear of seeing Jeremiah. I'm embarrassed really, more than mad at this point. I don't bother getting out of my pajamas, I just run downstairs to get breakfast. "Morning." Jeremiah says to me. He looks concerned. As if I'm a little girl with a crush on the older boy who sees her as a little sister. Oh my god. I'm every rom-com ever! "I need to talk to you." He tells me. I bite into an apple, trying to hide my face from him. "Not here." He says, taking my hand and bringing me to the living room. "Belly I'm worried about you." There it is. Acting like my concerned older brother. "Why?" I ask him rudely. "What happened last night?" Jeremiah asks me. "It came out of nowhere. That's why I'm worried.". He is so clearly ignoring the elephant in the room. "I was just stressed." I answer. "We're leaving in 10 minutes." I hear my mom yell from upstairs. "I have to go." I say, pulling away from him. I can't believe that after everything this is how its going to end this summer. I go upstairs to pack my final last things. I say goodbye to Junior Mint, and to my bedroom. "See you next summer." I say. I make my way back downstairs and outside to the car to load my stuff in. We all say our goodbyes "Bye Conrad." I say as I wrap my arms around him warmly. Next is Susannah. Here come the waterworks. "I'll call you everyday Susannah." I promise her, then I too hug her. Jeremiah stands next to her, waiting for his goodbye. I can't do it. I can't end this summer with him knowing I won't be able to start the next one with him. After Susannah, I walk over to the car and get in. My mom and Steven finish their goodbyes as I stars out the window in tears.

When the car starts to back up, I'm left staring at Jeremiah in tears. I see his mouth move. "Goodbye." It appears he says to me. "Goodbye." I say back, knowing he can't hear me.

• • •
2 months later
It's been 2 months since we left Cousins. I'm doing better to be honest. I've been hanging out with this one boy from school, Cam. He's so nice to me. I can really see it going somewhere. I know what you're thinking. I was just with Jeremiah. But we haven't spoken since the day I left, and I really think that me and Cam can have something good. We are going to the homecoming dance together, and he's coming over for Thanksgiving when it comes. The point is, I'm happy with Cam. He knows what he wants. Jeremiah and I just weren't meant to be.

The End.

There will be sequels to this book, the story isn't over yet.