The Dawn

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The First Day

After dinner, we kissed Annah good night at the usual time, a bit before nine. The next morning would be a regular school day and we didn't need to break any routines, not just now. When alone, inevitably Mary and I turned the conversation to my dismissal.

Mary knew the past months at work had been particularly tense. I had trouble masking my anger and frustrations. Moreover, Mary has always been a true life companion; I shared everything with her and she always did her best to help me manage my emotions. She understood the mixed disappointment and relief, too. She was scared, though, and did not hide her feelings.

But it wasn't the end of the world. My career had been irreproachable, with a strong curriculum and diversified expertise. I had developed a solid scientific and IT background, and significant experience in multinational environments. I would find something else in the next few months.

I started to plan my next steps: Contact a professional development agency; research headhunters; update my LinkedIn profile; use relationships and work-related contacts to create even further connections. More for myself than for Mary. The planning gave me the feeling I had control, and was still able to think clearly.

We went to bed early. Mary hugged me for a long time until she fell asleep. I could sense from her body and her breathing she was tense. I rested there, in the dark, cuddling my wife and comforting her, hoping the sky would not fall.

'Life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans.'

During the night, we woke up to the noise of a strong windstorm. Powerful gusts of wind shook the trees, interrupted by brief moments of calm. Then again, mighty blows blasted against the roof and a roared with the strength of multiple airplanes landing all together, in one go, on a nearby tarmac. I peeked out the window; the sky was dark, maybe a full hour still to dawn.

Mother Nature showed off her might that night. Mary went downstairs to check on Annah. When she came back, she reassured me our daughter was sound asleep. Her room on the middle floor was protected from the wind blowing strongly outside. We had a bit more than an hour before the alarm clock summoned us to our daily activities. Mary curled up close to me and we waited, without a word, listening to the roaring sounds around the house. The wind subsided suddenly, as if a gigantic fan had been switched off. Silence, a deep one, replaced the ravaging noises of an angry nature—the calm after the storm—penetrating and intense.

Dawn came with its twilight before sunrise, the brief moments the Roman deity Aurora ruled over, while the world awaited the rising sun, holding its breath. The buzz of the alarm broke off the magical silence. Mary stopped the noise with a searching hand, still half-asleep.

"Hmmm. Take a shower, I'll prepare breakfast. Will you pick Annah up at school?"

"Sure." For some time, I would be the only master of my schedule. I grinned in the dark and still-sleepy atmosphere of our bedroom. Mary squeezed my hand. She felt more sympathy for me than I did myself.

I took a long shower, soothing some lingering internal, invisible bruises. During the day, I needed to get organized and launch the job hunt on many fronts. I had never been laid off before. While common wisdom says in such cases a few days of rest are a must, I wanted to get back into action. Why wait and for what? I needed to revise my resume, visit some head hunters, send emails and, hopefully, arrange for interviews soon.

I dressed casually—unusual for me during weekdays—but I didn't think Annah would notice or raise questions which were as yet too hard to answer. My girls were waiting for me in the kitchen and Annah had just filled up three glasses with juice. Orange for Mary and me, apple for herself.

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