summer child // joshler

2

josh's point of view

laying in bed after tyler and his mom have gone home, i find myself thinking about them. his mom thinks it'd be good for us to hang out? why would i be able to help him anymore than any of his other friends? he didn't seem upset about it either, just... extremely annoyed that it was all happening in the first place.

i wonder if it will stay awkward the whole time. i don't have any negative feelings towards him, but it seemed like being around me even for just a couple hours made him miserable. i knew we wouldn't immediately be best friends again or anything, but i didn't expect the coldness that radiated from him. i'd be lying if i said it didn't hurt my feelings a bit, which i also didn't expect.

-

my thoughts are still drawn to tyler while on my run the next morning.

as i jog through our neighborhood, i find myself remembering all the times we walked down this sidewalk with our parents to trick-or-treat. we wore matching costumes three years in a row when we were eight, nine, and ten. mario and luigi (i was luigi [because i was taller]), batman and robin (i was robin [because tyler wanted to be batman and i didnt really care that much]), and mermaid man and barnacle boy (i was barnacle boy [also because i was taller]).

we would sit in the yard between our houses afterward to trade candy. i'd give him my milkduds for his whoppers.

"whoppers are gross. they're like... chocolate covered cardboard," he scrunched his nose up at me.

"milkduds are like chocolate covered rocks, you can hardly even chew them," i countered, very seriously.

"cardboard."

"rocks."

"here, just take them already," he threw the packet of whoppers to me, rolling his eyes with a small smile on his face.

"yeah, i'd hand you this box but it's full of rocks so... it's too heavy."

"shut up and give me my rocks."

when i get home, i take a quick shower and get ready, making it to the stop sign just in time for the bus. adam is waiting again, a smile on his face when i come to sit next to him.

-

adam and i have a class together right after lunch, so on our way out of the cafeteria, we walk together. i told him about the tyler situation while we ate and he was very skeptical. and a bit pissed off.

"speak of the devil," adam says, looking ahead as he closes his locker.

i look over and tyler is walking by with a few of his teammates. one of them gives me a look and then brushes past me, his shoulder shoving mine in a way that seems very intentional but is nothing new to me. im sure tyler must've noticed, but he says nothing.

"he wasn't always like that."

"yeah, well... he is now."

-

at the dinner table with my mom (and thankfully not kelly or tyler), i push my food around my plate with my fork.

"joshua, honey, are you alright?"

"i don't want to do this whole emotional-support-friend thing with tyler. i'm sure he's fine. he doesn't need me hanging out with him to make him feel better," i answer honestly, putting my fork down and taking my plate to dump the untouched pasta back into the pot. "besides, if he did want to hang out with someone, he has the entire basketball team. can't they do it?"

"kelly told me she thinks he's having a harder time with it than he's showing. he was there for you when your father left, you know," she pauses. "and please put your plate in the dishwasher. don't leave it in the sink."

i do as she asks and shake my head. "mom, i was four when dad left. we're older now. i'm sure he's fine. he doesn't even like me."

"oh, yes he does. you guys just need to... reconnect. you'll be attached at the hip again in no time."

"i doubt it, but whatever," i walk away before she can say anything else, going to my room and closing the door.

i look to my window and decide to peek out of the blinds. tyler's are drawn up, the sun shining into his room. it's empty. he's not even home.

i roll my eyes and close my blinds again. i get into bed, pulling my phone out to text adam.

josh: hey

adam: sup

josh: i told my mom i didnt want to hang out with tyler

adam: what did she say

josh: to do it anyway

adam: thats dumb, im sorry

josh: maybe it wont be that bad. we used to be best friends, im sure we can at least be like. acquaintances.

adam: lmao we'll see about that

josh: unfortunately

(an: there is a lot of myself intertwined in this story in different places and its kind of bittersweet but anyway! new chapter. hi!)