Alone and broken.
That's how I was once before.
I never accepted the hands offer to me, favoring to pick myself back up after I fell down.
I would create walls of steel and iron around my heart every time someone would come close to me.
I would open myself up to them, only to have them leave me behind.
And, once they left, I would close myself back up into my shell.
But, I'm used to it though...
I grew up alone and friendless- isolated from other people.
I've lost trust in people and their ways.
But that doesn't make me not desire someone to trust wholly.
I try so hard to open up.
To be me and show my true self.
But it's so hard to keep myself open to someone.
To even allow them past my heart's many barriers.
I pour myself into my studies, not allowing anyone to distract me.
But, then I come across people who worm their way into my life.
I try to keep them away, but they persist in trying to open me.
I act rudely, sometimes cruelly, coldly, and sarcastically to people.
But when you force your way into my life, I 'warm up'.
I'll act lovingly, playfully, and bubbly.
I'll laugh more, talk more, and even smile more around you.
And you know what, only three people have bothered to pry open my heart-
My Mum, my Best Friend, and my Big Sister.
But many have managed to come close to my heart, only to rebuild them.
Either way, I won't be this way forever.
One day I will be different from now.
I won't be alone and broken, but-
Whole and loved.
