The days blur together like a lifetime packed in a day. Hour after hour she sits on the last row talking to him, constantly laughing with him and then the rest of the day just fades away after acting class. All she can make out are him – his deep blue almond shaped eyes, his loud goofy laugh and his low boyish tone. It was so easy to lose track of time in this haze that she was so sure might last forever; or at least that’s what she told herself.
One spring night when the blue vivid sky turned into a dark gray haze he asked her out. He had taken her to a camp fire and they watched the fire danced, lightly leaping around. She stared unblinking into the dancing fire, hypnotized – like a song wanting to be written.
She remembered quite well how that one night, when he suddenly grabbed her hand, holding it tightly. The fire that once hypnotized her gone in an instant including everyone else around them. He pulled her face toward his, his deep blue eyes gazing intently into a mirror version of his eye. Smiling, he whispered, “I am so glad to have finally found you.” She smiled back at him and held on as tightly as she could.
For years, she had dreamed of this. Her thoughts drifted back to that very first day he had broken the wall she built around herself. After all that, she hasn’t been herself at all, she turned into someone who laughs about anything. She felt lighter. Happier. As if there’s music everywhere she goes.
She inspected herself again in her mirror. She had long before gotten used to seeing herself in plain shirt and blue jeans. If she hadn’t looked in the mirror before she wouldn’t know it is her standing in front of it now. She is wearing her floral dress she had just bought a while ago for this day, her old tattered chucks now replaced with ballet flats. Her once disheveled hair that is always in ponytail lay neatly combed just right to her shoulder. She is different. And for once she felt like herself.
It has been months since they started going out, and yet she still feels like she just met him. Everyday she learns something new about him and herself. Those past few months have been full of bliss and contentment that she had long ago forgotten how it is to be a wallflower.
“Bree, Dylan’s here.” She heard her mom’s distant call downstairs and she took one last look at herself.
“You look beautiful.” He told her as he grabs her hand all she can ever do is smile; she’s still at lost for words every time he smiles.
It was a warm night, the sun just a glimpse above the horizon. She could feel her hair flowing with the direction of the wind as they went round and round on the Ferris Wheel. She glances at him and already saw him looking at her. Their eyes met and for a brief moment they are alone, the carnival all to themselves together with the sweet background music playing as they reach the top. She closed her eyes and smiled, capturing the moment. She made sure to mentally write down all the details in her head, so she can write a song about it.
She felt the Ferris Wheel slowly coming to a stop. She gently opened her eyes and let out happy sigh. It is the first time she has been invited to a carnival. He led her to an empty bench.
“That was fun.” She said, slightly embarrassed for having to be the one who talks first.
“I thought it bore you.” He said in reply.
“No, it didn’t. It’s just that it is my first time going to a carnival. No one really asked me.” she finally admitted.
He just smiles in reply and she wishes that that moment can last forever. He held her hands in his and squeezed it tightly.
“I love you.” She heard her heart pounding in her ears like the first time she had ever snuck out of the house to meet her best friend. The memories came from everywhere, surrounding her, crushing her. And now there was him.
And nothing will ever compare.
