Hide (Mommy's House 3)

10

The black sky and stars faded to navy. The sun was threatening to rise, its dim, early-morning light casting a desperate light over a sliver of gray clouds.

The two of them continued to walk silently, while Bella held a map up in front of her eyes. They took a shortcut through some woods so they wouldn't be seen as the sun came up.

"We should be there in like, five minutes," Bella told him.

From the minimal light the sky provided, she could see that Cole's tan skin had turned pale, and his eyes had bags beneath them. He looked like he was going to be sick. She knew that he was nervous, and she didn't know why she wasn't nervous.

"Are you okay?" she asked him.

He shook his head. "I don't really think we should be doing this."

"I didn't ask you to come with me," Bella reminded him.

Cole sighed heavily. "You can't do this shit on your own."

Bella stopped in her tracks and turned to look at him. He stopped as well, staring down at her.

"I can do this on my own, Cole. You're the one who's scared."

"Of course I'm scared, Bella!" he yelled in a quiet tone, throwing his hands up in exasperation. "I know what it's like to be tortured. Excuse me for not wanting it to happen again, it wasn't the most fun experience of my life."

"Then why did you come with me? You're only slowing me down," Bella told him, putting her hand on her hip. "You knew the risks involved."

"You can't do it alone! And you can't be stopped. Non vedi cosa stai facendo! You're putting yourself in danger," he said as he ran his fingers through his hair, something Bella noticed he did often when frustrated.

Tears started to well up in Bella's eyes. "You don't understand."

"Then explain it to me," Cole said, his light eyes gentle. "Explain it to me right now."

"My torment has no end in sight, Cole. I can't stop drinking. I have panic attacks all the time. Flashbacks, nightmares. I barely talk to my dad, he works and works so much because he can't stand the pain of what happened. I let Daniel beat the shit out of me... and I still love him," her voice faltered as she tried to catch her breath. "James and Liv have to devote all of their attention to me because I'm never okay, Cole. I'm always causing trouble and concern. They can't even live their lives. I don't care what- what happens to me. There is nothing good about me, about my life. The least I can do is try to help someone before I..." Bella went quiet.

"Before what?" Cole asked, as he stared deep into her eyes.

"You know, Cole," she said, tears flying down her cheeks. "I can't do it. The torture is too much for me."

"Bella," Cole whispered, but she shook her head.

"Rose won. She won, Cole. I will forever be tortured by her. I need this shit to stop, I need those three kids to never experience what we did. And I don't know about you, but the harder I try to forget, the worse it gets," Bella told him, sobbing as she wiped her tears on the sleeve of her sweatshirt.

Cole continued to look at her, he didn't even know what to say.

"And- and the guilt, the- the guilt of knowing what she was... what she was doing to you that entire time," Bella's voice wouldn't stop trembling. "I could have stopped her. I know I could've."

Cole shook his head and furrowed his eyebrows. "What could you have done?"

Bella shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know! Maybe... I could have distracted her or, I don't know... something."