Walk a Mile

"Snack break"

Memories of war. Torture. Humiliation. Death."
Tony grimaced. "What about the good memories?"
"Those are the good memories. I see him standing on top of bodies laughing with his friends."
Tony's eyes had widened in shock. He had seen a few glimpses of the same thing but Bruce had seen everything. He knew how Bruce felt about Thor for a while now despite him never saying anything. Tony knew the man must be beside himself with what to think.
Bruce turned to look at Loki again. This time he was talking to Spider-Man. It seemed to be a heated discussion. "The things he's done to people." He looked back at Tony. "It's horrible."
"I know." They both grew silent.
"I'm starting to think that we don't know him all that well or at all. Is that wrong?"
Tony's expression changed. His eyes grew darker. "No. Not really." He slumped back into his chair and crossed his legs. "I have yet to see a reason why he shouldn't be getting treated like Loki is right now."
"But he's our friend Tony." Bruce sighed. "I can't stop myself from thinking that it was in the past. That he's not the same person as before. That I didn't know him then so I can't feel the way I do."
"I know. Is Loki not?" Tony whispered in a harsh tone. "If you've seen half of what I think you've seen you should know he would more than deserve it. You said it yourself, the things he's done are horrible." Tony sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. It was getting hard to control himself.
Bruce nervously scanned the room to make sure no one was listening in.
"Think about this, Loki killed 81 innocent people under mind control and that was in the past. So shouldn't we forget it? Why does he still need to reap the consequences? If he didn't want to do it and it was in the past. That's basically what you're saying you want to do for Thor. Forget it because you didn't know about it even though it was wrong. AND Thor did all of that willingly."
"Well..."
"I thought so."
"Tony, what should I do?"
"Loki and I were going to talk it out. I suggest you two do the same."
"Iron Butt. I need your help over here!"
Tony got up to head over to Deadpool. "I have work to do. You should probably leave." He didn't mean for it to come out as harsh as it did. But the conversation had pissed him off.
"I think I might've fucked up." Tony looked down to see what damage Deadpool could have possibly dealt. Not bothering to check if Bruce had left.
_____
Three days later, Sunday April 10
There had been some complications with the new suits that had made the process longer. Deadpool had somehow managed to put a virus in his suit. One that even Tony had trouble getting rid of. Hell he was still trying to get rid of it. They couldn't risk missing even the tiniest speck of malware. He was hunched over a computer when Loki found him.
"You've been down here too long. Come eat something. Socialize."
"Let me write this last code."
"You told me that two hours ago. Don't make me drag you Anthony."
Anthony sighed. "Alright." He spun around in the chair to face him. "I'll go socialize."
They walked out of the lab together. This time the lab didn't go into lockdown. "When was the last time you ate?"
Anthony had found out the hard way that it was better to be honest with Loki when it came to his health. "This morning."
Loki shook his head. "It's past lunchtime. I'll make you a sandwich." Anthony took notice that no one else was in the kitchen when they walked in. He took a seat at the island and watched as Loki moved around the kitchen to make sandwiches.
"About what I said, you don't have to talk to me. It was rude of me to ask that of you."
Loki stopped what he was doing briefly to turn and look at the other man. "I suppose it was. I see why you asked though. And I'm glad you didn't try to force it out of me. But I think we should talk about it."
"Really?" Tony had to force himself to reel in his excitement. "For real?"
Loki nodded and internally sighed.'What have I done?' He thought to himself. "As long as we talk about yours as well."
"Naturally." Anthony smirked.
"We can go to my room after we eat." Loki passed him a plate with two BLT sandwiches. Sat down next to him and ate one as well. The silence that fell over the two was simple and thin. They were both preparing themselves for what was to come.
_______
Down some halls and around a few corners, Loki and Anthony were sitting on Loki's bed. With the door shut tightly. They couldn't risk anyone hearing the conversation they were about to have. Sitting a fair distance apart because they're not gay. Well Loki is, he wasn't too sure about Anthony.
"I don't know how to start." Anthony said awkwardly while looking expectantly at Loki.
'Well I'm not starting.' Loki thought back. Anthony sighed, having got the message loud and clear.
"I've only seen a handful of your memories from Asgard. None of them are any good in nature. Specifically, the one where they sewed your mouth shut."
Loki's breath was bated. Downright scared shitless. 'I changed my mind. I don't want to do this. We shouldn't be doing this.' HIs thoughts drowned out the rest of what Anthony was saying. He could see his lips moving but the words he couldn't hear.
Anthony reached out to put his hand on Loki's shoulder. He was looking paler by the second. "Loki, it's okay." Foggy eyes looked into his own brown ones. He could feel his face pulling into a sad expression and had to force himself to look neutral. "We don't have to talk." He said softly.
'Loki's voice is so nice.' Anthony shook the random thought away. 'Not the time.' He reminded himself. 
'I don't want to do this. I really don't. I really shouldn't.' Loki finally looked at the man in front of him. The man that thirsted for knowledge just as much as himself. 'But I can't say no to you. Not when you're trying as much as I am.' He took a few deep DEEP breaths and exhaled through the mouth. 'La mer est calme(The sea is calm).'
Repeating the mantra over and over till he couldn't hear his heart pounding. Till his throat stopped feeling so constricted by anxiety.
"Sorry. I can't imagine this will be any easier for you either."
Tony smiled meekly. "I knew this wasn't going to be easy. What I'm- we're asking of each other is a lot. We can tell one story each a day."
"Lets. The mental exhaustion will surely take its toll." The duo settled back into a silence as they got into comfortable positions on the bed.
"Why did they do that to you?" Anthony asked. They were laying on their sides, heads propped up by their hands so they could look at each other. Yes the position was a bit awkward but it would go away once they started talking..... Or it would get worse.
Loki sighed. 'No turning back.'
"Thor had a wife, Sif, whose beauty was almost unrivaled." Loki rolled his eyes. "Her hair was long and golden blond." Loki smirked. "But one day, I cut off her beautiful hair," he said. "As punishment, I had to get two dwarves to make her new hair. Along with the replacement hair, I tricked the dwarves into making a number of fine treasures. To prevent me from tricking others, the dwarves Brokk and Eitri sewed my mouth shut as a form of revenge."
"What were the other gifts and what did you do with them? Did the dwarves keep them?"
His face turned sour. "The new hair of shining gold for Sif, a magical ship, called Skíðblaðnir for Freyr, a mighty enchanted spear for Odin, called Gungnir, and finally, that accursed hammer Thor loved so dearly." Loki laughed bitterly. "The gods kept everything. I admit that was a shitty thing for me to do. But she deserved it. Sir, and the rest of the gods treated me like shit. Everyone like shit."
"She can't be that beautiful if she's an asshole. Yeah what you did was shitty. But no one deserves that. I take it that they never said thank you."
"If more torture is thanks then yes."
They sat in silence as the conversation settled. 'So Loki did do something. But he didnt deserve that. The humiliation, trauma, no one should have to deal with that.'
"I have two more questions, were you always the cause? The initiator."
"Most of the time no."
"They really are no good bastards." Loki chuckled lightly and nodded.
"Were there any good moments?"
"Mildly." Loki smiled fondly. "Especially toward the end."
Anthony let out a heavy sigh of relief. "I will tell you those stories some other time."
"Snack break?" 
"We just ate, Loki."
Loki pouted. "I'm hungry again." 
"I think Thor bought fruit bowls yesterday. Would they do it?"
"Perfectly. If it's Thors it'll taste that much sweeter."
Anthony gasped. "Are you the one who keeps eating his yogurt?" Loki only smirked and shooed the genius out of the room.
In the brief time he was alone Loki began to talk to his reflection in the window. A habit he had picked up some thousand years ago.
"I didnt expect it to be this easy. I thought he would have said I should've seen it coming. His reaction was so mild. Like it was normal. He thinks like I do. Maybe, could I maybe? Need I remind myself that he is human. Then again he is a very smart human. Handsome. Charismatic. Almost on par with me."
Loki sighed heavily. Completely fed up with his thoughts. He looked up to the ceiling and closed his eyes. Relaxing his shoulders he spoke again into the empty space around him.
"I am free falling
Spiraling down
From a high
Sky diving toward the ground
A drug I can't resist
I can't say no
I am free falling
Into your arms"
"Who are you Edgar Allan Poe?" Anthony said. The playfulness; evident. Loki flinched ever so slightly. Though he was sure, Anthony didn't see it.
"What else did you hear?" He wasn't scared. Not all. Was he worried? Yes. Loki didnt want Anthony to know what he was currently thinking. 'Thank god the spell doesn't include telepathy.'
"Just the poem." Anthony smirked and wiggled his brows. "Something you want to tell me, Lokes."
Loki rolled his eyes so hard it almost hurt. "You wish, human." Though the small smile anyone could see. Anthony laughed and handed the bowl of fruit to him.
"I love cantaloupe! These are about to start going missing too."  Moving aside a few pieces he saw strawberries and blueberries too. "Do you have a favorite fruit, Anthony?"
"Couldn't say I do. I eat pretty much anything."
Loki gave him a sly smile. "Like a pig."
"You're not funny."
"I find myself to be hilarious."
Anthony hummed in response. "I guess it's my turn now." Shy eyes met wary. They laid back down. This time on their stomachs so that they could still eat the fruit.
"The memory that I watched was...heart wrenching. Why would you continue to help him, knowing what he would have you do?"
"He was my father. The man I always looked up too. A man that was revered by everyone."Anthony's voice cracked the tiniest bit. Loki made sure to keep a straight face. "Even if it meant suffering, I wanted to work at his side. Like an equal."
"But you weren't an equal. I'm sure that even at such a young age you were already better than him."
He laughed bitterly. "Where were you 3 years ago?" Anthony turned to look him directly in the eye. "You really are a good dude."
Both men blushed and quickly hid their faces in their fruit bowls.
"It's not that I'm scared that whatever people hand me are scolding hot pieces of metal its just trauma that I could never get over."
"Is that also why no one else is allowed in your lab?
"Partially. I suppose. And I dont want anyone to come in here and accidentally pick up something that's burning. I also just like my space being MY SPACE."
"Understandable. We really did have shitty childhoods. How sad." A distant thought whispered to him. 'Pathetic.' Loki shook away the thought.
"We need a mood lifter. Let's go out and get drunk!"
Loki turned to him and frowned. "Not happening. How about we just change topics?"
"You're no fun Loki." He groaned when Loki didn't rise to the bait. "Fine. Tell me about your aesthetic."
"My aesthetic?"
"Yeah! You dont know what an aesthetic is?" Anthony said. His jaw almost on the floor. "How could you of all people not know what aesthetics are?"
"I think I do. It's like those collages of things that go together. I see them all time on Pinterest."
"So you have a grip of it. I'll show you." Anthony pulled out his phone and opened google. When he searched up aesthetics Lokis mouth formed and 'O' shape.
Leaning away from Anthony Loki thought about his answer before answeringhi question. "I'd say Dark Academia. I dress in earth tones, black, like a scholar."
Anthony held backhis laughter. "That definitely fits you." He looked around Lokis bland room. "Wanna decorate to match? I can even get another wardrobe for you."
Loki smiled. "Decorating sounds fun. But theres really no need for more clothes. You doing this is enough."
"We can even ask the others if they want to decorate their rooms."
"Let's slow down Anthony, we've got enough on all of our plates as is."
The excited genius sighed. "You're right." The sprang up from the bed. "I know exactly how to decorate! So we're definitely gonna need bookshelves, a desk, a globe, lights, and blackout curtains."
Loki got up too and started to wander around. "Maybe black or grey comforter set. Or maybe green. A few plants, anatomy posters along with a map, a few abstract paintings as well. Side table with a mirror."
Anthony hummed along. "This room is pretty big, we'll need to make sure everything is big enough."
"Can you pull up one of those screens?"
Anthony shook his head. "Only in Offices and labs and my room."
"Let's go to your room. We can set up a list there."
On the way to Anthony's they were stopped first by Thor. He was once again trying to get a grain of Loki's attention. They disrespectfully side stepped him. Next was Bruce. He wanted Tony to talk with him about something they had discussed. Bruce was also disrespectfully side stepped. Both their moods had dropped at seeing their annoyances of the week or for Loki, lifetime.
"I need something sweet now." Loki huffed.
"We just ate fruit bowls." Anthony glanced at the man beside him; puzzled.
"And now I need something to calm me down. Do you have any ice scream?"
Anthony raised an eyebrow. "You mean Ice cream."
"I know what I said. What's your favorite kind?"
"Call me a basic bitch but chocolate."
"We can be basic together then, mine is strawberry."
By this time they had reached Anthony's door. Stepping inside they went straight toward the kitchen located in the corner of the room. Loki opened up cabinets until he found paradise. Inside the last cabinet was snack cake heaven. Boxes upon boxes of Little Debbies, Little Bites and cookies.
  Inside the fridge Anthony found Neapolitan ice scream. Which had Loki squealing in happiness. "Are you god?" He dramatically asked Anthony. He only laughed and went to grab them bowls.
"Which snacks did you grab?" Anthony turned and was met with a pile of, what looked like one of everything from the snack cabinet. "How big is your sweet tooth?"
"Bigger than that pile. Now stop gawking at it and help me carry it to the couch." 
Anthony decided it was better to move all the snacks first that way the ice scream wouldn't melt. "Are you sure you can eat all of this?"
"I know I can." Loki stated blankly.
"Plus the ice scream?"
"Definitely the ice scream."
Anthony rolled his eyes. "We'll eat the ice scream later, if you actually have the appetite after?"
"A challenge with a sweet prize. I like the way you play, Anthony." Loki held back the urge to wink. After all, it would be weird.
"Don't get a sugar rush and forget why we're here. We came here to decorate your room." They fell back onto the couch, instantly getting comfortable.
Loki hummed as he bit into a strawberry shortcake roll. Eyes rolling in ecstasy.  He watched as Anthony pulled up multiple amazon screens.
"Should we paint the room? White wouldn't go with what we're looking for."
"A grey or beige would do nicely. To match a deep red or grey comforter set."
"Here," Anthony pushed one of the screens over to Loki. "So you can add stuff too."
"Curtains next. Black, grey, or a deep red?"
"I don't think you would like the red that much. The grey comforter with matching curtains. So beige walls?"
"Like old parchment. Add it all to the cart. For bookshelves it's gotta be tall enough to nearly touch the ceiling and long enough to cover the wall."
"Wood?"
"Looking. I want something that looks.... Like that! Cherry wood. I can't find one big enough."
"Loki, we could make a bookshelf so it doesn't matter if you can't find one. Yet another project we can collaborate on."
"I guess you're right. Luckily I found a desk made of cherry wood though. And it looks big enough."
Anthony looked over at the screen he had given to Loki. On it was a large thick desk made of dark red wood. "That's definitely big enough. Might even be a bit too big."
Loki sighed. "We should've measured the room first."
"It's okay. We can just order all of it and if its the wrong size we can just send it back. Though I doubt we'll have to."
"Let's move on."
"Accessorie time! Look for a globe and lamps that would match the vibe. I'll look for the anatomy posters and maps. Then we can look at the abstract paintings together. Sound good?"
"Yep."
After about twenty minutes in complete silence, Loki opened another tab and logged into Spotify. He scrolled his playlist until he found his classical music one. Pressing play he began to sway a little to the sound of the piano. "How I hate silence so. Something that reaps my soul."
Anthony side eyed the mysterious god. 'Sometimes he says the weirdest things. But I do understand what he means.' Lowly they hummed along to the music. The already peaceful and relaxed atmosphere was amplified.