Daire and Aspen

Chapter 15: Daire

It'd been five days without my girls. I tried not to feel discouraged, but with each day that passed, I felt more and more certain that Aspen was going to tell me I could be in her life strictly as Elly's father.

Instead of filling me with the rage that I'd normally feel, I felt only sadness. On the fifth day following our talk, right at eight in the morning, I sent Aspen my usual text.

You OK? Do you need anything?

I waited for her response, not expecting anything but the polite one she'd sent me for the last four days saying she and Elly were fine and she didn't need anything. So I almost missed it when my phone chimed notifying me of her text.

We're fine. But I need something. Can you come over?

I forced myself to text back that I was on my way before flying out the door, practically leaping onto my bike and roaring out of the driveway. Toward my girls? Toward my dismissal?

It took me no time to get to Aspen's, and I parked and hurried to the front door. I knocked quietly and a few moments later, the door opened revealing Aspen holding Elly on her hip. Before I could say a word, my daughter shrieked from her mother's arms and launched herself at me. With a laugh, I scooped up my baby girl and cuddled her close, peppering her fuzzy head with kisses while she wriggled happily in my arms. After a minute, I lifted my eyes to Aspen, who had a slight smile playing on her lips.

She opened the door wider, and I stepped fully into the room.

"Come into the living room. We can sit down there and talk while Elly plays."

"I swear she's grown in just a few days," I said to Aspen, and immediately felt bad when she winced slightly.

"I should have had you come pick her up," Aspen said.

"It's fine, Aspen. You said you had some serious thinking to do, and it's easier to do without me being in your face all the time. I get it." 

And I did. I got it, but it didn't mean I liked it at all. I'd hated being away from both my girls for so many days. I couldn't even think about what life would be like if Aspen wanted to move to a formal custody arrangement where I got Elly only a couple of days on a set schedule.

She smiled at me and then indicated Elly's exercise saucer. "Why don't you put her in that? She hasn't been in it in a couple of days, so she'll stay entertained for a few minutes."

I gave Elly some more kisses on her cheek to make her giggle, tickled her belly a couple of times, then set her into the soft seat. Her eyes grew big and she started smashing her hands on the toys, happy as can be, then started spinning the little spinner.

With Little Two occupied, I turned to Aspen.

"Waiting's been rough, not going to lie. I actually have no idea which way this conversation between us is going to go."

"I wasn't sure, either," Aspen confessed, and my stomach plummeted. "I was worried about forgiving you and the club. Those were my two biggest concerns. Then I thought about how I could be part of the club and ways I could make it work. And I thought about everything you've done."

Shit. Most of what I'd done was pure shit. She was going to cut me loose.

Surprisingly, her little hand curved around my forearm. "I thought about everything, Daire. The good and the bad."

I still was unfuckingcertain which scale was heavier. Probably the bad. Definitely the bad. I'd told her to abort our baby and to get the fuck out of my sight -- and I'd said a whole bunch of other shit that still had to be ringing in her ears. Then forcing her to come back here, threatening to take Elly from her, making her go to the clubhouse, blackmailing her into living with me...