Stuck

Chapter 12

Chapter 12

I woke up in darkness.  Not something spiritual, it was midnight.  I was in my bed, which was strange enough because I don't remember getting into bed that evening.   

There was a glass of water on the bedside table, and the curtains had been shut.  I had been tucked in as well, like a little burrito.  It was quiet, apart from the street traffic down below.  With a lurch, I realized the events of the past day and how I had fallen asleep.  I groaned and got out of bed.  

Groggily, I shuffled to the bathroom and closed the door behind me.  The boys had cleaned up my puke from a couple of hours ago.  I sat on the toilet seat and contemplated my reaction last night.  

Was it necessary to hug Cade as I sat there sobbing?  Probably not.  Did I hug him anyway?  Hell yeah. 

The thing I was hitting myself over was the fact that I let myself break down in front of them, one thing I vowed I would never do.  I tried to convince myself that it would just make the ditz facade even stronger, but I don't think it came off that way.  

I found a hair elastic on the sink.  Why there was woman's hair elastic on the sink, I didn't know.  I grabbed it and threw my hair into a ponytail.  Unfortunately, I didn't fall back asleep.  I wandered around my room aimlessly, trying not to wake the other residents.  

I finally gave up after fifteen minutes and decided to explore.  Earlier in the day, I had noticed a balcony on one of the adjoining windows to my room.  My mission was to find that room and sit out on the balcony until I was cold enough to get back into bed. I peeked out my window.  It was on the right of me, two windows away.  

Contemplating leaving the room was a big step.  The next room could be someone else's and I wasn't keen on waking them up. I creaked open the door and tiptoed to the next room.  There could quite possibly be a sleeping man in there, but I didn't really care.  

When I slightly opened the door, there was somebody sleeping quietly, but I couldn't tell who it was in the dark.  They lay on their side, slightly snoring. Whoever it was, they were a very peacefully sleeper.  He didn't even wake when I tripped on their dresser. I saw the balcony with two glass doors leading out to it.  I quietly slipped past the sleeping figure and made my way outside.  

I heard the door click before sitting on the cold ground.  The little balcony had a great view of the city at night.  Of course, this wasn't New York City, so it was significantly quieter at night.  Especially near the Common.  I could see the Statehouse on the opposite lawn, and quickly waved any thoughts about the morning from my mind. 

Tonight was solely for me to relax before the big day ahead.  I had to find a way to sleep.  The cold wasn't that bad so far.  It wasn't working the way I thought it would be.  The air was chilly, but not overwhelmingly so. The wind was not whipping.  I tried to put my arm into the snow on the ledge, but it was just painful, so I just sat there again.  

Not really doing anything, overthinking the days to come, I sat there and cried for my brother, who was probably enduring the wrath of the Council.  For my mother, because she has already lost a husband, and unless I get out of here alive, she will have lost a child too.  Finn is all she has left.  The tears felt cold on my face, like as soon as they left my eyes they turned to ice.  

I heard the doors open behind me, so I quickly sniffled and wiped my off my eyes. I craned my neck around to see Cade, rubbing his eyes, already shivering from the cold.  

"What are you doing out here?" He croaked in his low voice.  

He was wearing just boxers, completely shirtless on the overhang.  "I'm just thinking." I reply, my voice cracking towards the end of the sentence.