a space between } Finnick Odair

Chapter 21 ~real or not real~

The next morning comes sooner than I hoped. I didn't sleep at all last night.

I look over at Finnick's sleeping figure. His hand rests on my stomach his head near mine. The way he looks so peaceful brings a smile to my face. I hate to wake him, but I know I have to.

I glide my nails up and down his arm and kiss his nose. His eyes heavily open. "Good morning Pigeon.", he mumble sleepily. "We have to get up.", I say. He nods moving his hand to let me get up following me shortly after.

I change into one of Finnick's jackets and some shorts. "Isn't that my jacket?", he asks. I grin, "it looks better on me anyway." He looks at me challengingly I get his message immediately and take off running. He keeps up close behind me both of us laughing.

This continues for a few minutes before I run into the mentors lounge where he finally catches me placing kisses all over my face and neck.

"You do pull off my jacket beautifully.", he whispers. "Alright I didn't come just to watch a romance movie.", A tired Haymitch walks in.

"Morning Haymitch.",  I smile. "Morning kid." He looks at Finnick, "Lobster eyes." "Drunk." "I'm well sober thank you." Finnick and I both give him questioning looks before we all start laughing.

"The games are beginning.", A male from District 3 says. I sit in between Finnick and Haymitch snuggling close to Finnick who holds me in his arms. "Mr. Odair was insanely nervous last year.", the same guy says, "It must've been because of you." I smile at the man then over at Finnick placing a kiss on his jawline. he returns the gesture by kissing my hairline.

"I'm Daphne by the way." "Beetee Latier." "It's wonderful to meet you." "You too." He seems really nice. Nerdy but nice.

The tributes are risen into the arena. It's a desert. Hot during the day cold at night. The gong sounds as the tributes take of running towards the cornucopia. I scan the screen trying to find my sister, but there's no success.

The first cannon sounds. My heart sinks as I immediately know who's it was. Ardin's. My sisters dead. Not only that she was the first one to die.

I feel like crying but no tears escape me. I feel the other victors staring at me in silence and pity. In all honesty I don't care. For the first time I don't care. I could burn the entire capital and not feel sorry. Is this a stage of grief? Or is the emotion genuine?

"Are you okay?", Finnick whispers to me. I smile at him. "I'm fine." This moment truly makes me feel like I've gone insane.

I grab a bottle of liquor off the table and pour it into a glass. Finnick grabs the glass out of my hand.

"Absolutely not you're sixteen."

"Oh come on fish lip the girl just lost her sister. Let her have a drink.", Haymitch says. "And end up like you? No. It's not happening I'm not letting my girlfriend fall into an addiction." "Oh come on Finn it's one drink." "No." "Finnick!" "No." I poke at him repeatedly. "Daphne stop." "Finnnicckkkk." "Stop. No. You're not drinking nothing you do is gonna make me change my mind."

I pout at him giving him puppy eyes. "Don't look at me like that Daph." "Give me the drink and I won't." He looks away from me. "You're no fun." "Then why do you hang around me." "Because I love you.", I kiss him on his jaw again. He leans his head on mine holding me closer to him.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Honestly I don't know. I've never not known how I feel about something. My sisters dead. I'm heartbroken truly but I guess I was expecting it or I'm stuck in the fact I feel like its not real. I can't tell what's real or not real anymore. "I don't know.", is all I say to answer him.

He rubs my arm comfortingly.

"Can we walk out for a minute. I think I need some fresh air.", I whisper to him. He nods as we walk outside onto the balcony.

"I'm so confused Finnick. My sisters dead but I'm not crying. I don't know how to feel. Nothing even feels real to me anymore. It's like I'm trapped in a dream with no way out with mixes of the dream and reality. What's wrong with me Finnick?"

I begin to tear up.

"There's nothing wrong with you love. The games just messed you up. Everything is all so new to you. You're stuck the the denial stage. Either way you don't have to cry over your sisters death you did everything you possibly could for her. But if you do end up crying I'll be right here for you. I can tell you what's real and not real all you have to do is ask my love."

"I'm sorry." "Never say you're sorry. You're grieving while still trying to adjust to your life as a victor. You're expected to break sometimes. Even if it's more often than not."

"I wish I died in the arena.", I mumble. He kisses my lips gently.

"Don't say that. We both know it's not true."

"Yeah well Ardin may still be alive if it was."

"Well Daphne is. Daphne Lynn Elsher. My beautiful girl who survived the games who won fairly and deserved to win."

I smile weakly at him. Weakly but genuine. I never thought a person could make me as happy as Finnick does. Even through everything Finnick's always there for me. And one thing I know is real is he always will be.

Authors note-
I lowkey like this chapter. like it's sad i feel like Ardin's death could've been greater but i kinda wanted to make it quick so it's more like oh my gosh kind of moment. i feel like this chapter also gets a little more into daphnes mind and how she's still recovering from her own games without the distraction of Finnick Ren and Mags. it also shows how her mental stability is. how she acts like everything's fine but also emotional heartbroken and confused. it's a lot i know but it's progress. this story will have a lot of chapters cause there's a lot to cover in 7 years. but i think it's kinda getting somewhere now. tell me what you all think. please vote and comment !!! xx