cw bcuz taylor hawkins is in this one and maybe that makes you sad.
It was some month in 1995, 1995 years after the birthing of krist(us). I was living my best life, drinking vodka and mixing it with weed or some shit. It kind of got to my head because suddenly everything started spinning but thankfully Krist was there to and I was able to lay in his arms like a baby, or an adult playing one. In any case i felt fucking horrible and had to vomit. and of course as i was spitting out the remaining already-digested food some blond conservative-looking motherfucker walked in. his hair was greasy and he seemed to cronically sit with his legs spread. I don't know what happend but in a matter if seconds he was sitting on the floor next to ne drinking me vomit with a Barbie™ straw. It was so hot to watch; i almost got a boner. however it didn't happen which maybe was a good thing, because just then he sat on my lap. "OH NO" i gasped so fucking loudly- oh my god. MIND YOU: christ novoselic himself was still in the same room, however he was sleeping maybe because he was too horny to stay awake (it happens to him more often than it should, trust me.). "Hello you hot af almost thirty-year-old alchoholic whose also a closeted homosexual!" said the guy on my lap. "Hi hottie..." i mumbled. "im dave😩💅" i wispered really quietly so that no paparazzi would come look at me flirting. that's too much after all. "oh yeah, of course you are DAVID ERIC GHORL." the guy responded. "aren't you the nba player krist made a sex tape with?" "am i the what....." i could not even finish that sentence. I do not remember ever doing that... oh no... "forgot to say my name in a really high-pitched voice. im taylor hawkins." [auther's note: this is supposed to make you sad not laugh. Taylor is dead and that's sad because he was hot and also just an amazing person :)))))] he said.
"oh no... i think i found a new guy to record sex tapes with" i thought to myself as i started running away from the room to avoid the overwhelming feeling of lust and embarrassment.
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Child-friendly nirvana smut
Humorplease do not read this if you are disgusted by gay dilfs. i'm taking suggestions on how to make this story more realistic uwu for yall weird people this is very much a joke... unless you want it to become reality. I can put you in contact with som...
