(emo) shrek x y/n

Chapstick 2:

y/n pov

Standing bye the broken door was a big green walrus! He was... crying??? That makes noar sense. wait.. since when did i have an australeean auccent?

y/n started at the walrus who had beautiful diaomond tears running down his cheeks. donkey looked at the walrus and saw that his female cleint was staring hard at the thing. her cheeks (which cheeks?) heated up in anger as soon as it started to talk– to form words. it can speek??? she thought

Shrek pov

This tiny gray creature in front of me really seemed to care about me. Then there was this total stranger having her therapy session. I sat on the couch and she went flying on the opposite end. I torld donkeh about my problems and this girl crossed her arms angrily.

"What do you think you're doing?" she shouted.

"Excuse me?" I said. I couldn't believe i was granting her an ounce of respect.

"THIS IS MY THERAPY SESSION TIME!!!!" she whined.

"And who are you?" I frowned.

"I'm y/n" she said.

"What kind of a name is that?"

"I take it you're shrek. The uugly ogre down the block."

"So i take it you live in the swamp."

"Not in yours! That would be an insult to myself."

"Not that great of one, if you ask me," i said looking her up and down.

"Get out." she said.

"Or what?" I said, testing this harridans patience.

"Or I will roundhouse you in the face!"

"Actuarly," donkey said, standing up on his hind legs. "That's impossible."

"Wart?" y/n said.

"Frarm where youre standeeng, it is pheesically imparssible to roundharse Shrek in thar face."

"Oh yar?" y/n said. I larfed at her. Next thing I saw was a big foot charging at my face.

She rounhoused me in the face. :(