Too Good to be Bad | Negan |

60 - Take things slow

The next day, Derek comes to find me at the laundry room just before lunch. My heart makes a little jump when I spot him coming through the doors.

'Hey', he greets me. 'Wanna take a little walk?'

I nod and follow him outside. We don't say much as we make our way through the building. I guess we're both a little unsure how to be around each other now. But once the fresh air hits us outside, Derek starts to talk.

'I'm afraid I've got bad news.'

'Negan won't let us leave right now.'

'How did you know?' he asks surprised.

'He came to see me', I tell him a little hesitantly.

'Seriously?' he asks annoyed. 'Are you all right?'

I nod and glance at him for a moment. I feel a little guilty about what happened and wonder if I should tell him. 'It was fine. I think he was expecting a fight, but to be honest, I get his point.'

'Yeah, I suppose it wouldn't do us any good if we ran into people from Alexandria and they find out we're from the Sanctuary.'

'Exactly. He did promise we can still leave. Once things have settled down.'

Derek nods and we continue to walk. I look at him a little apprehensively.

'Derek, I have to tell you something.'

'What is it?' he asks, sounding concerned.

'Last night, he... we kissed.'

I barely dare to meet his eyes. When I do, I find they look confused.

'Why?' he asks.

'We talked and I told him that whatever we had, it's really over. For good. And he asked if he could kiss me one more time. I don't know... I let him.'

Derek doesn't really react as he processes the news. I bite my lip anxiously. Have I already ruined this, before it even really started?

'I'm sorry', I say softly. Then he stops and reaches out to grab my hand.

'You don't have be sorry. I don't own you. You can kiss whoever you want.'

'Derek...'

'I'm serious. I hate the way Negan made you feel. Like you were his possession. Of course I don't like that you kissed him. But you make your own choices.'

I look into his beautiful blue eyes and feel touched by his words. He's right, Negan did feel like he owned me. I remember what he said about Kieran. If you fuck him, I will kill him. And his rules, his ultimatums. It wasn't normal.

'Okay.' I smile at Derek, once again thinking I don't deserve him. 'But to tell you the truth, there's only one person I want to kiss.'

'Really?' he asks, the corners of his mouth pulling up into a smile.

'Yes. That guy', I say, nodding to a random guard who's currently picking his nose. 'I've been in love with him for a while now.'

Derek bursts out laughing and then grabs me unexpectantly. He pushes me against a wall and brings his mouth withing inches of mine, making my heart skip a beat.

'What a lucky man', he says in a low voice, before he closes the distance and kisses me. I wrap my arms around him and kiss him back eagerly. He makes me feel excited like Negan, without the underlying fear, and comfortable like Kieran, except he actually likes me back. But I am a little hesitant to dive into this. So much has happened in the past months.

'Derek', I say, breaking our kiss for a moment. 'I really like this, but... with everything that happened with Negan and Kieran, I'd like to take things a little slow.'