25 - I'm nothing like that piece of shit

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Negan carefully carries me to his room and takes me straight to the bathroom, because I still insist on taking a bath. He sits me down on the edge of it and lets the water run while he lets the doctor out and takes the foil from him. The light is harsh in the bathroom and I can see myself in the tall mirror against the wall. I look awful. My hair is tangled and gross, my face bruised where Ramon hit me and my eyes are surrounded by large dark circles. I'm wearing loose shorts and a t-shirt and I can see my legs and arms are bruised as well. I lift my shirt to see the wound on my stomach, but of course I can't see it. It's neatly covered with bandages. Negan enters the room again holding the foil and shakes his head when he looks at me.

'I look awful, don't I?' I ask him.

'You're beautiful as always', he says, coming close to me. He places the foil on the ground in front of me.

'If you're worried about getting my bed dirty, I really don't care. We don't have to do this now.'

'No, I want to. I feel gross.'

'You were a lot more gross when I first met you.'

I smile shortly. I guess he's right. I hadn't properly washed myself in days when I was out tracking Kieran and I couldn't remember the last time I took an actual shower.

'Yes, I have been grosser than this. I just really want to get clean. I know it doesn't make sense, but I can still feel his hands on me. You know?'

He stands before me and looks down on me with pity in his eyes. It's a strange thing to see on his face.

'Okay', he says. 'We'll do it. Are you comfortable taking your clothes off around me? I can get one of your friends over here to help you.'

I shake my head. I don't want my friends to see me all weak like this. And while Negan may look more concerned than usual, my friends have been looking at me like I could fall apart at any moment. Of course I appreciate their concern, but it makes it hard to feel strong again.

'It's fine. Not like you haven't seen it before. I'd like you to help me. Unless you've got things to do or something?'

He chuckles. 'I'm all yours. Let's get you up.'

He wraps his arms around me and helps me stand up slowly. I bite my lip to stop myself from wincing, but the pain is clear on my face. I lift my arms so Negan can take my shirt off and his eyes glide down over my bruised body to the bandages on my belly. I look in the mirror again and turn a little in front of it. There's a large bruise on my back where I fell when Ramon pulled me down on the stairs. Negan catches my eyes in the mirror and smiles at me.

'It will all be gone in a couple of weeks.'

'Yeah', I say, a little shakily.

'Now let's wrap you up', he says, grabbing the foil from the floor. He grabs the end and presses it against my waist.

'Hold it there', he tells me. Then he starts to walk in circles around me, wrapping the bandages tightly with the foil. 'Can't say I've ever wrapped up a woman before, but there's a first time for everything, right?'

'You're doing it like a pro', I joke.

'Think I'd rather unwrap you', he says, winking at me when he passes in front of me. I laugh at his joke. I'm kind of glad he doesn't treat me too carefully.

When he's done wrapping me up, he takes my shorts off and helps me into the bath. It's strange to have Negan undress me like this. The times he's done it before were full of passion. But he's very respectful. He touches me as little as possible and keeps his eyes mostly on my face.

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