I Dont Want Perfect(kunidazai)

3

⚠️light smut in this chapter⚠️

"Mmh dazai" chuuya moaned as dazai kissed down his chest. The both were naked on chuuyas bed dazai inside of the small ginger." Please dazai...more".

When dazai woke up it was around 4am.

"Why cant i just sleep like any normal person" he muttered to himself. He looked down at the perfect ginger resting on top of his body.

This boy is perfect.

To perfect.

Dazai went to work after making breakfast fir chuuya and himself. They kissed and said goodbye.

To perfect.

Dazai went to work. He got almost all of his paperwork done then for lunch decided to take chuuya on a secret date. He told kunikida to cover for him incase hes late and kunikida agreed with no argument.

To perfect.

Lunch was good with chuuya telling him about his day so far. With his perfect smile. Perfect hair. Perfect clothing. Perfect house. Chuuya was perfect.

To perfect.

Dazai wanted to be perfect for chuuya.

A few mounths later

After a long day dazai for the first time in awhile went to his own house. He and chuuya before had talked about just having dazai move in with him but both decided agienst it seeing as being apart of enemy organizations it would only raise more suspicious.

Dazai walked in and noticed the place had gotten dusty over the time he was gone even though he hadent been gone long.

Before he wouldent even notice even after being gone months but ever since being with chuuya he has been focusing more on being clean and working hard.

"What has that man done to me" dazai muttered to himself grabing the duster and cleaning up.

He had noticed since being with chuuya he had clamed down with his shenanigans. He had become more of a clean freak. He had been trying to be as perfect as chuuya is. But in doing that did that even really make him be himself.

Dazai went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. He wore a neat and ironed professional looking outfit. Befire all his cloths were wrinkled and he couldent care less now they had to be perfect. His hair was brushed neatly. His bandages were on neatly not one flaw could be found in them. Every part of his apprince had become perfect.

To perfect

The agency noticed dazais new behavior. He wasnt running around the building doing crazy things. He wasnt playing pranks. He wasnt getting into meaningless fights with ranpo. He just sat there and worked. All day.

Yasano asked dazai if h was sick and cheacked his temperature but it was normal. Ranpo asked dazai if he wanted to play a roumd of chess with him but he said he was to busy. Kenji tryied taking dazai out to eat but he declined. He even rejected atsushis offer to go look for a new place to commit suicide (it was a last resort).

The only person who had any idea of what could be going on with him over the past few months were kunikida.

seeing dazai lose himself was killing the blonde male but there was nothing he could do. Dazai dodnt love him. He loved chuuya. And this is how he is now. Theres nothing he could do.

He was to late.

Walking home from work dazai texted chuuya that he was coming over and chuuya said it was ok and that he needed to talk to him about something.

When dazai got there he opened the door to see the perfect house. Perfect floors perfect walls. Everything perfect.

He went to chuuyas room to find the perfect male reading on the bed. He looked up at dazai with a small sad smile. Chuuya had noticed dazais change as well. He didnt know what to think of it. He tried asking his lover why he changed but dazai never answered.

This dazai wasnt his dazai.

"Dazai we need to break up".

Kunikidas pov

It was raining today. I was walming around town to clear my head before work.

As i was walking i saw a bridge with a man soaked to the bone wearing facny now ruined clothes. I looked closer and noticed it was dazai.

I walked over to him to see he had a blank expression. No emotion no feelings. Nothing.

"Dazai what are you doing out here" i asked. "Its freezing and you dont even have an unbrella your ganna catch a cold".

"This is the bridge i jumped off of when i met atsushi" he muttered. "He saved me from dying. Do you think someone will save me if i were to jump now".

"What are you talking about? Just shut up and come back with me to the agency before you get sick". I was getting worryed. He wasnt making any since. What happened to him.

"Chuuya broke up with me kunikida" he said his voice barly above a whisper. "He dosnt love me anymore. He said im not the same dazai anymore". Dazai turned to look at me and the sight i was ment with broke my heart.

He had tears streaming down his pale face mixed with the rain . His hair was flatened by the rain and his clothes were soaked and he looked so miserable.

"Kunikida do you think im a different person now to"?

"Yes".

Dazai turned back towards the water. I saw his shoulder shake slightly. Then he fell to his knees full on sobbing at this point. I didnt know what to do so i went over to him and held the umbrella so it covered the both of us.

Dazai sat there in front of my so small and helpless. A small ball of sadness crying its heart out.

I got down on my knees to be level with him but when i did he latched himself onto me. His face was buried in my chest getting my clothes wet but at the moment i didnt care. All that mattered was keeping dazai dry and trying to help him.

After a few minutes dazai relesed me from his grip still sniffling and keeping his head down so i couldent see his face.

"Im sorry kunikida-kun i messed up your ideal schedule for today. You can leave me here ill catch up with you later. Maybe you can still make up ti-"

I cut him off by pulling him back into my arms this time hugging him with the arm that wasnt holding the umbrella.

"Screw those ideals this is more important then any notebook will ever be. YOU are more important then a notbook will ever be".

Those words made dazai start crying agien but i didnt mind. Having dazai in my arms was worth any lost time for my ideals.

"I was trying to be perfect kunikida. I was trying so hard to be perfect for everyone. But it only messed things up in the end".

I grabed dazais chin making him look up at me with his teary eyes. "Dazai what made you think you have to be perfect. Personally i think your perfect just the way you are. Your imperfections make you perfect".

Dazai looked into my eyes for awhile before wraping his arms around my neak in another hug. "Thank you kunikida. But i dont want to be perfect anymore. I hate perfect".

I smiled at him and placed my chin on his head. "Do you want to come to my house and get out of this rain. I promise my place is anything but perfect".

Dazai nodded wraping his legs around my waist and keeping his arms around my neak.

"Kunikida when i told you i didnt look through your notebook i lied" dazai said suddenly as i carried him. My heart seemed to stop when he said those words but he continued.

"I saw what your ideal woman or man is. Do you still think that way"?

"Yes" i answered with shame filling my voice. "Yes i still love you".

"Thank god"

"Because i love you to kunikida"