The Asshole App

24. DEEDEE TAKES CHARGE

"I've got it!" Evie shouted. Triumphantly, she held up the black metal power switch. The DARPA dog shuddered as it powered down, freezing on its back with its front paws still holding up the cabinet.

~~~~~~~~

In the subterranean levels of the power plant, Deedee shouted, "I've seen enough!" Staring at the screen, she grabbed Ray's headset from him.

"Hold on, Vince!" She yelled into the coms. "I'm comin'." She opened a line to the upper levels. "Thanatos, get your ass down here. We have a situation." Ripping off her wig, she stalked over to the weapons cache and tore a rocket launcher off the wall.

For a moment, everyone stared in shocked silence, too breathless to speak as Deedee overrode Thanatos's command. Rock the Casba jingled from her bosom. "What is it now?" She pulled out her phone and answered it.

"Lady Dee. It's Prince. Where are you? People are lining up outside the shelter for dinner."

Repressing her anger, she spoke sotto voice into her phone. "Listen Babe, I'm dealin' with some real ripe shit here. You're gonna have to make dinner. Get Joe and Charlie to help you."

"I can't even boil water." Prince was near hysteria.

"If you can open a can of peas, then you can make dinner." Deedee grabbed a few Glocks and stuffed them into a duffel bag next to the S.A.M, adding bulk munitions.

"What's more important than dinner?" Prince insisted.

"Never mind. Just defrost the frozen spaghetti sauce I made last week. It's in the freezer next to the meatballs. Have Joe and Charlie cook pasta and make salads." She checked the mag on an assault rifle. "There's vanilla ice cream for dessert. Prince, I'm counting on you. Don't let me down." Deedee ended the call and looked over at Satoshi. "Where do those bullet trains run? I need to get into the city."

"You can catch a high speed rail that will take you three blocks from CENTIEN." She scowled at the Tasmanian devil woman who'd insulted her husband.

"So you're riding in there solo?" Ray asked.

"That's a reasonable assumption." Deedee's mouth turned down in annoyance.

"I'm going with you."

"Me too," Satoshi said.

The glass doors opened and Thanatos stalked into the room. "What's going on down here? Who's challenging my authority?"

"I am, asshole. Now stand back or get me on that bullet train." Deedee shoved him aside and strode past him.

~~~~~~~

Vince rolled over and pulled up his pants. "Good job, Evie. I thought Rover was going to shred my ass."

"He nearly did." Evie looked at the dog's inert roto router tongue and grimaced. "I don't want you to ever pull a crazy stunt like that again, Vince."

CENTIEN's CFO kneeled down to help Vince up. "Let's get out of here before the hell hound reanimates." He cast a fearful glance back at the frozen, mechanical canine.

Holding Vince up between them, the three proceeded into the hallway. "If we can get the second app, we can shut down all their software and lock the DARPA dog's ass on this floor." The ex navy seal looked at Lear. "Where's your office?"

"It's around the corner. Why?"

"We need the ICARUS software Ray gave you.

"The what?"

Remotely, Ray interrupted. "It's too dangerous —all of you need to get to the lower level and stay put."

"Like hell, soy boy." Vince stumbled as the three moved forward.

"Usually, I could disable BIG DOG remotely, but he operates offline." Ray's concerned voice hummed on the open line. "Hold on guys, we're coming to help you. I want you to stay where you are."

~~~~~~~~~~

Deedee, Thanatos and Ray grabbed gear and proceeded towards the high speed rail. Thanatos gently stopped his wife when she went to grab a weapon. "Satoshi, we need you here at command central to oversee the op. I trust you."

She nodded tersely. "Be careful, Thanatos."

~~~~~~~~~~~

In Ray's office, the DARPA dog's eyes snapped open. Its tongue whipped back into its mouth. In a complex sequence of gymnastic moves, BIG DOG threw off the filing cabinet and slowly righted itself. Using a camera instead of its nose, it located its target's infrared hot spots and trotted after them.

On the IP security camera, Satoshi and Ray saw the DARPA dog reanimate. "This model has a battery backup." Ray yelled. "Evie, Vince. Get Lear outta there. Cujo's coming."

(A/N Photo is from Queen Latifa in the Equalizer.)