Unforgiven (Azula's Atonement)

Confrontation

The visiting area was empty except for her and the guards, as was the usual arrangement when her only two regular visitors were coming, her mother Ursa and her brother, Fire Lord Zuko. She wasn't usually informed who of them it would be but over the years she learned to be prepared for either possibility. There was a reason why her visiting hours were held separate from the usual ones, it was to avoid giving the other prisoners any appearance of her having any special status. Of course, almost all of them knew who she was, or better said, who she used to be but none of the guards, doctors, nurses or the warden ever addressed her with anything other than „prisoner". Some inmates upon learning her identity did use her former title but were quickly and sternly warned not to, more often than not by Azula herself. She didn't like getting in trouble for the foolishness of others, her own follies were more than enough. The most recent one got her a seven day time out. Though it wasn't nearly as bad as in the early days; she was still allowed to exercise in the yard, even firebend under supervision and her hands and feet weren't bound, she just wasn't allowed to mingle with the rest of her fellows, some of which she found rather entertaining, some of which she actually liked. She had learned very quickly, once she was lucid enough to think even halfway clearly at all, that she had no rights, other than food, water and perhaps some basic human decency; only privileges that had to be earned and which could easily be taken away. One of those was visiting rights. That threat might work on others but she only had two possible visitors, whose status meant they could see her when THEY wanted. Thus she sat in the chair of one of the meeting tables, playing with her hair or adjusting her uniform, waiting to see who would come through the door. It was Zuko, his furrowed brows and clenched jaws advertising his anger a mile away. He set down in his simplified but still royal looking regalia, across from his sister and almost slammed the table when he put his hands on it. The guards stepped closer.

„We need to talk!"

Though she expected it, Azula hadn't seen her brother this angry in years. She had almost forgotten how difficult it must be for him to be calm, caring and compassionate around her, despite his best wishes and intentions. It was still hard for her at times to resist the urge to ruin it. Still, she took a deep breath, put on her most nonchalant face and replied:

„We always talk brother. Usually about how I'm doing and feeling, then we switch to happier topics."

Upon hearing those words and seeing her seemingly cold reaction Zuko answered with barely restrained fury:

„You know damn well why I'm here. I want answers!"

For a moment, Azula toyed with one of her bangs, her hairstyle and makeup the same as she had before her fall from grace. She knew she couldn't toy with her brother quite as easily as back then. Still, she could prolong the inevitable for just a little while longer:

„Answers to what? What is it that you don't comprehend?"

Zuko closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, he wanted to shout at her. When the urge subsided for just a little he spoke:

„You have been here for TEN years! The past four you've been nothing but a model inmate. No significant relapses, episodes, outbursts, violations, anything! Your reports are outstanding. Mom is actually HAPPY after she comes back from seeing you! So why, why only days before your first parole hearing did you cause an incident? It will take at least several months, maybe even a year before Avatar Aang and the rest can reschedule."

Zuko's anger couldn't quite mask the recrimination, sadness and disappointment in his eyes and voice. Azula tried not to avert her eyes from the sight but failed in the end, subtly acknowledging her shame. She answered in a low voice but tried to keep it playful:

„I'm dangerous and unstable, the fact that I'm in a psychiatric prison should have clued you in on that fact long ago, Zuzu."

She couldn't help but remember the warden's words, some of the first the stern no-nonsense woman told her: „If your brother, the Fire Lord, gives up hope for you, then there truly is no hope for you."