The Psychiatrist- Jaywon FF

One Week In

"I'm the one who found you" said Jungwon, intensely looking into Jay's eyes.

"Oh.." replied Jay.

"Unfortunately, I don't know what happened to you before I found you" added the nurse. "I'm sorry."

He sounded saddened by it.

"It's okay" replied Jay, not knowing yet how he felt about all that.

Jungwon felt his pager vibrate in his pocket.

"I have to go" he said. "Another patient needs me."
"Thank you for staying with me" replied Jay.

He watched the nurse walk away. As he reached the door, Jungwon quickly glanced back at Jay. A sweet smile appeared on his face before he disappeared behind the door.

Jay sighed.

He was back to square one.

Alone.

~

Being hospitalized implied a lot of things to Jay.
The bad part was that he was often facing loneliness. He did have the books his mom had brought him, his phone and the tv, however it wasn't very fulfilling.

On the other hand, it enabled him to see Jungwon every day.
Several times a day actually.

That was worth the loneliness.

Every time Jungwon came by to bring him his food, to check on him or to give him his medicine, Jay couldn't help but compare real life nurse Jungwon to imaginary psychiatrist Jungwon.

There were a lot of similarities between them, and even though Jay preferred nurse Jungwon, he did miss the closeness he had with psychiatrist Jungwon.
Jay knew that it wasn't real. He knew that psychiatrist Jungwon was made up.
Yet, how could he just move on from this? He had been his reality for months. His whole coma had been lightened up by psychiatrist Jungwon's presence.

Now, it felt as if he had to start their relationship again. With the real Jungwon.

It had scared him at first. Especially since he knew from the moment Jungwon had walked in his room a week ago that he was in love with him.

Well, it still scared him actually.

What if he doesn't like me the way I like him?

This question had become his last thought before falling asleep, every night for the past week.

~

"Hi" whispered Jungwon, as he slid the door.

Jay didn't answer though.
Jungwon walked closer to him, silently. It had become their little routine. Every day Jungwon would come in and wake Jay up. He hated disturbing the young man's sleep, however the latter needed to take his medicine.
So once again, Jungwon gently patted Jay's shoulder.

"Jay" he said, a bit louder. "It's time to wake up."

Jay growled lowly. As usual.

"Come on Jay" chuckled Jungwon. "You know it's time."
"Okay" replied Jay, before yawning. "'Morning Jungwon."

The nurse smiled at him, displaying his cute dimple.

"Good morning Jay" he replied. "There you go."

However, there weren't any pills this morning, just a glass of water.

"Where are the-" started Jay.
"Actually, I shouldn't even be here" explained Jungwon. "I told my boss you had called me, even though you were asleep."
"How come?" asked Jay, confused.

Jungwon looked a little nervous.

"Well, my shift ends in ten minutes and I heard your doctor saying that you would be free to go home today" explained Jungwon.
"What?" asked Jay in disbelief.

This can't be happening. We haven't bonded enough!
I can't go home so soon.
A week wasn't enough.

What am I supposed to do now?

"You're going home today" repeated Jungwon, gently patting his shoulder.
"I didn't know" said Jay.
"Yes, I know" replied the nurse.

They didn't speak for a bit, however it wasn't bothering nor awkward. They both needed time to let things sink in.

"So, I wanted to come and tell you good bye" said Jungwon.

Jay felt his heart breaking in a thousand pieces, for several reasons. Firstly, Jungwon sounded really saddened by the situation. Then, he didn't want to leave. There was a good part though.

Jungwon came here to say goodbye.

Truth was, he could have left without saying anything. Yet, he hadn't.

"Thank you" whispered Jay, touched by the attention.

"No, actually, thank you" said Jungwon. "You were my first patient here, and I couldn't have been luckier. I know we're not supposed to bond too much with patients, but I truly think of you as a friend."

Jay couldn't believe it. He didn't know what to say. Jungwon sat on Jay's bed, next to him.

"I'm going to miss you" added Jungwon. "Well, your company, I mean."
"I'll miss you... r company as well" slowly said Jay.

He wanted to confess. He wanted to tell him he loved him. He wanted to go with him.

But he knew he couldn't. It would sound absolutely crazy for Jungwon. They had met a week ago only after all. It was too soon.

"I have to go" whispered Jungwon.

Jay hated that sentence. Jungwon always said that before leaving him in his room. This time it was even worst because it would be the last one.

Jay felt a big nod in his throat. How could he say goodbye?

Jungwon had just stood up, ready to go. Jay thought he was ready to let his heart leave with him.

He was wrong.

Before he knew it, Jay had stood up as well.

"Jungwon" he said.
"Yes?" asked the nurse, turning back.

Jay felt his hands trembling a bit.  his stomach felt funny as well.

"Maybe we could see each other again?" asked Jay. "If you want to."

Jay felt his heart beating faster and faster.

What if this was too blunt?

Jungwon frowned. Jay felt silly. He shouldn't have said that.

Stupid.

Jungwon's frown slowly faded.
"I'd love to" said Jungwon, smile and dimple back on.