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monday.
dear jungwon,
it's currently 11:38pm and i'm sat at my desk trying to figure out what to write to you. if i were being realistic, i couldn't put everything i feel about you into words. but here goes...
this morning i walked out of my house, ready for the day ahead. you had said to meet you at our usual spot, by the lamp-post so we could walk to school. but you were there before me. you greeted me with a smile, showing off your dimples and told me that
'this week is going to be a good week'
i decided to make this week worth living. you're always smiley in the mornings; definitely a morning person - even if it was a monday, and for that i admire you.
we walked and your hand accidentally brushed mine, sending thousands of butterflies to dance in my stomach. i wondered if you had felt the same nervous feeling i had, but when i looked up at you, you seemed normal. calm.
it hurt. knowing someone like you could mean more than the stars but not getting that back, it hurt; but i had grown used to it.
we had private study today in the library and we sat in the back corner as we always do. this time you sat close to me. you had told me you needed some help with maths. it something that came easy to me, but not to you. yet i would always help you, i would always guide you through every question step-by-step, because i cared for you. i always had time for you.
i watched you solve the problems as you puffed air into your cheeks and rubbed your temples. i layed my head on your shoulder and whispered to you that everything was okay and you needed to 'take your time'. you closed your book and gently layed your head on top of mine and there it was again, that funny feeling in my stomach. the one i would get when we were little and we would scream at the big drop on our favourite roller coasters. you were capable of making me feel like that jungwon.
the rest of the day was pretty boring, but you lit up the little moments with your kind smile that made me weak at the knees.
i spoke to the stars about you tonight, i know it's seems silly but i did. they can't say anything back, obviously, but they listen to the words of love i would never be able to tell you in person. my thoughts and feelings towards you, are safe with the stars, even if i wanted them to be safe with you.
it's getting late now so i must go, sorry this letter was a little boring, it's a monday so nothing special happened. see you tomorrow.
