WHEN THINGS GO SOUTH

Chapter 18 - Gold Dust Woman (Black Widow)

Sonya is coming to stay with us this weekend; I need adult company and conversation. I tuck Jordan and Rhett into bed. As I'm pouring Sonya a glass of wine, she asks, "Okay, Rye, so what now? We are going to pretend that little Brittany Spears marriage moment you had never happened.

That's been at least six months now, and you haven't left the house except to go to work. It's not like you to give up. People make all kinds of crazy decisions during the grieving process. I can tell your head is back on straight now. Don't let that little bump in the road determine your journey. You are too young to be single the rest of your life, and it's been almost a year since Anthony passed." 

I answer, "Why not stay single? Why would I ever date again, so I can have another marriage shorter than Tiffany Thomas's daisy dukes, or worse so he can die on me?" 

Sonya drops her head. I agree, "I know that sounded harsh; I shouldn't have said that but what if it's true? What if I'm like the black widow?" 

"Rye, no, you can't think like that. Listen, I saw the bathroom mirror full of notes; you have got to get out of this house, there is life out there, and someone who will love you, Jordan, and Rhett and put all the broken pieces back together. You deserve someone who will be there for you for a change.

Let someone save you this time, Rye." 

I shrug, "I don't think my Rhett Butler is out there. I don't think there is a strong enough man out there for all of this." At the same time, we both croon, "Just try and love me if you can. Are you strong enough to be my man?" We laugh so hard. That's why Sonya and I are best friends; our minds are so much alike. I haven't laughed this hard in over a year. Sonya always makes me laugh; of course, the wine doesn't hurt, either.

Sonya tells me about an old high school bo' I dated for a hot minute once when Nick and I broke up; she said he's been asking about me.

I tell her I'm sure he is just being kind; Sonya doesn't think so, "Oh, Rye, come on, he has always had a thing for you, and he never married, so you wouldn't have some crazy ex to deal with. Just dinner Rye, dinner, nothing else. You need to get out and do something. Everyone knows your marriage to Nolin was trying to deal with the grief. It was almost like being on the rebound. Don't beat yourself up; it happens to the best of us. That's all behind you. I'm not trying to set you up to get married, just to go out and have some fun. Ethan and I will go, too."

"You mean he's asked?" I question Sonya. 

"Well yeah. He said he wanted to give you enough time to go through the grieving process. Anthony would want you to find happiness and someone who loves you."

I joked, "Oh no, he wouldn't, you know better! You know how jealous he was. He would probably push Heaven's grand piano right off a cloud and onto his car or beg God to whip up a tornado or flood." 

Sonya laughs, "Okay, okay, all jokes aside, you have to go, he's a perfect gentleman, we will have a good time. I won't take no for an answer."

I smile at  Sonya, "Okay, I will go." 

Sonya's mouth drops, "Hold on, I thought I may have to drag you kicking and screaming," I shake my head, "Nope, you are right, I need to start taking things one day at a time, not try to rush into things, and just have some fun." 

Sonya toasts my wine glass, "To new beginnings, to not giving up."

I do feel numb in a way like I could never love someone again, or at least not like I did Anthony, but I do want to find that again someday. It's been a year without Anthony. I have been with someone since I was fifteen. This year has taught me so much.