Chapter 15 - Broken

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Back at home, Anthony is still adjusting to farm life; he grew up in Winchester in the suburbs. This is all new to him, but he loves the freedom of having acres and acres to roam.

After Lyle passed, Anthony stayed sober for months, longer than he had since we had been together. He knew I needed him to be all there. He would just hold me night after night while I fell asleep crying.

One evening as I was cooking supper and Anthony was coming in from mowing, the phone rang. I answer. It's a woman on the other end asking to speak to Anthony. I cover the receiver and tell Anthony it's for him, and I don't know who it is.

Anthony takes the phone, and immediately his face loses its color. Anthony replies to the lady on the other end with very short answers, "Yes, Jordan. Yes, Rhett. Yeah, okay. We will see." He hangs up the phone. "That was the woman who gave birth to me," he says as he sits down on the stool by the phone.

I sat down, "Do you know why she called?"

Anthony responds, "She said she would love to see me, meet you and her grandkids, and be a part of their lives."

I question, "Wonder why now? It's been so long."

Anthony replies, "Fourteen years. She only called then because she heard I had been left a small inheritance from my great aunt. She asked to borrow money."

I tell Anthony I'm sorry, and the kids and I will do whatever he decides. But I'm sure she doesn't have good intentions from what I have heard about this woman.

She was not someone I wanted to know. But I will be by Anthony's side whatever he decides.

Thanksgiving was quickly approaching. Anthony's mom had reached out again and invited us to come to her house on Thanksgiving Day and bring the kids. Anthony finally agreed to come.

Anthony has never been big on Holidays. I guess it was just him and his father for so many years. Every year on Thanksgiving Day, we go to Momma's around noon for dinner. Dinner, of course, prepared by Cracker Barrell and picked up by Daddy Number Seven. I always put a turkey in the oven early in the morning. Then, just me, Anthony, and the kids celebrate Thanksgiving together that night. Anthony loves it like that, just us.

After leaving Momma's around 3:00, we take Jordan to visit Marlin and Nancy while going to Anthony's mother.

Anthony knocks on the door, someone yells out, "Come on in!" Anthony walks in the door first, carrying a chocolate pie. I am behind him with Rhett. Just as we walk in the door, Anthony turns around and ushers us back out. We get back in the car, and I ask Anthony what is wrong; he says as soon as he opened the door, he could see down the hall to the bathroom, where his mother sat on the floor with her head wrapped around the toilet.

He didn't want to see that; let alone Rhett and I see it. I feel so heartbroken for Anthony. She had begged to meet his son and couldn't stay sober that day long enough to meet him. It was no love loss for me not meeting her. I knew I would never care for her because she had abandoned Anthony.

A few weeks later, Anthony didn't just fall off the wagon. He dove headfirst.

I had been trying to get Anthony to attend church. I knew something was missing; he was trying to fill a hole with alcohol. I had always believed his mother left that hole. Anthony was a baby, barely sitting up when she left him and his father alone. A man to care for a child alone. Anthony had told me when he was a child, he would just sit on the floor and play alone while his father would sit and read. I believe not having a mother around to nurture, rock, hold and love the way only a mother can, must have tremendous effects on a child.

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