The Girl Who Was Buried In Her Ball Gown

Chapter Two: Is this really fun?

My eyes were stinging and the rain began to beat down harder, trying to wash the tears away from my shocked face. But the raindrops didn't divert and trace over me physically as they should have, they merely passed through my current form, undetected as many silver fish slipping through an ocean. Where was Martin? Maybe he was still in the hospital. I needed to hold someone, I needed someone to slap me and wake me from this terrible dream. I couldn't hug anyone even though I tried. My arms passed right through them, just like it was a dream, but I knew this wasn't. People had put up their umbrellas by this time, those who had them. It was a thin, solemn forest canopy, of despair and grief. It was so cold too, maybe winter was here already and I didn't realise.

I wasn't the only one crying. I noticed all sorts of responses to the burial, to my early departure. I saw the comforters; I saw the confused. I saw how angry Dad was. Someone had killed his daughter, some idiot drunk! I wanted to hug him the most. He had been the strength in our home, but here he looked as weak as a baby. I could see a wall hardening around him; a rampart of rock to protect him, maybe to hide him away from this disgrace. My little sister was also building a defence, but different to Dads.

The girl said something to me but I wasn't listening, "Hey e-hoa, it's not all that bad. Look at this." She got into the coffin even though the lid was on and lay down inside. "We can have some fun. I bet you will like this. Give them some hope eh? Watch this." The coffin was lowered into the hole. Suddenly the hole filled with something like smoke, only sucking in, not rising upwards. It wandered out in curly, sinister waves then doubled back into itself, imploding rather than exploding. When the coffin hit the bottom of the hole it sent a pulse through me, like an eternal severing. The umbilical cord being cut from the life of the mother, so then the baby becomes its own self preserver and independent vehicle.

When that happened, I saw the Maori girl walking up the vertical side of the hole and she looked just like me! Her hair had changed colour and flowed behind her carelessly. Her face had changed to imitate mine. My ball gown drooped down behind her and I could see her girly features pushing out those six little buttons. She was wearing my ball gown! When she reached the edge of the hole she pivoted as if she were a door-hinge, to follow the ground we were all standing upon. In the crowd, I heard sighs of surprise from a few people and saw shocked, frightened faces among them. My sister, some cousins and my weird Auntie Annie, were the first few who noticed. Whispers of conversation resonated around among others too and I realised that many had obviously seen her. As she walked past my Dad, she broke into a run and then disappeared. Who is this girl? Why is she doing this and calling it fun? I did not like it!

She appeared behind me and gave me such a fright as she whispered into my ear, "What did you think of that?"

"Who the heck, are you? How could you do that to my family?" I was wild!

"Oh, you'll get to know us, I guarantee that!" I wanted to rip out her eyes but she just laughed and stepped around me. I felt like a volcano about to erupt as I gurgled and rumbled away from her.

"Where are you going? You've got a lot to learn yet girl. Who's going to teach you stuff? Come on, it'll be fun." Well, she was right about one thing, I didn't have a clue where I was going to go. Maybe I might go back to the hospital to see Martin again. Maybe he might hear me, if I spoke to him. Perhaps I should go and see Mum and Dad, Nikki and Tim. What difference would it make anyway, I'm dead! Instead, I plonked myself down on the base of a tall headstone and bawled my eyes out. The rain fell and I sat there in a cemetery filled with people. A vast real estate of lost dreams, unsung songs, unspoken love, unsettled feuds and unwritten stories. However, I was all alone and the glowing ball in the sky went down, and then it came up again.