Schizo DISCONTINUED FOR NOW

Chapter One

I felt a gentle hand on my shoulder, shaking me softly. I groaned as I heard a soft chuckle.

"Come on, Joel, you have to get up. You have to meet with Dr. Brucker this morning." Liam told me. I shook my head and hid under the blankets. It had been two months since we moved to California and Dr. Brucker had been helping me try to overcome some of the symptoms of my illness. But Adrian and Boris insisted that Dr. Brucker wanted to hurt me. Dr. Brucker hadn't seemed like she wanted to hurt me, though, and she seemed to be trying to gain my trust. I was conflicted on that issue. "Joel, come on. You need to get up." Liam told me sternly. I shook my head and whined.

Joel. You need to go. Wyatt's voice echoed in my head and I frowned. The soft comforter shielded my body from the morning air and bright sunlight and I just didn't want to leave. What if something happened? What if The Man was waiting right outside?

Come on, Joel. Stay in bed. You know you want to. Besides, Dr. Brucker will only try to gain your secrets and kill you in the end...Adrian's dark voice startled me with how menacing it was at such a low volume. I heard him chuckle in my head and closed my eyes, trying to make him go away. Adrian and Wyatt had continuously argued in my head for weeks, but Boris didn't talk to me as much anymore. Adrian said it was because the medications were making him angry. I didn't mind, really. Boris scared me.

He had no hair and he was an older man. He had a thick scar across the left side of his face and hard, cold eyes. He was six foot three and towered over me. Boris hurt me the most, physically. Adrian was my emotional torturer, though. He always taunted me and told me Dad would come back and hurt me. He told me how much I needed it. 

Wyatt was the only one nice to me. His eyes were caring and light like gold. His hair was the color of wheat and his face was soft and sweet.

"Joel!" Liam said sharply when I was lost in my own thoughts. I jumped at his voice as he ripped my blankets off and stared down at me. I frowned and peeked my eyes open at him. He looked exasperated. "Joel we need to go. Get ready and be downstairs in twenty minutes." Liam said as he strolled out of my room and closed the door behind him. I stared up at the ceiling and thought about all the possible outcomes to the day. I usually spent a good five or ten minutes thinking of all the possible outcomes to how the day would go. Ways people would think, things they could say, what I could do, how other people would think of me in the event of my actions, everything.

Dr. Brucker told me it had to do with my Anxiety. We had been discussing different ways of treating the extra symptoms that also came with Paranoid Schizophrenia. Liam was making sure I took my Anti-Psychotics and they actually helped a little. I was starting to be convinced that not everyone was trying to kill me. Just most of them.

Dr. Brucker was helping Peyton and I mend some of the wounds we each carried. I still didn't trust him and he was still terrified of me, but we were slowly getting comfortable with each other.

Joel, you need to get up. Dr. Brucker is going to help you, sweetie. Wyatt told me. I sighed and nodded, sitting up slowly. I stretched my body slowly and slipped from the bed, walking to my closet and pulling out a baggy sweatshirt and jeans. I didn't like to dress up. The clothes always choked me and made it difficult to breathe. Most of my clothing was loose fitting and breathed. I liked it that way.

I finally slipped on a pair of shoes and walked down the stairs, seeing Peyton sitting on a bar stool eating a bowl of cereal. He glanced at me and tensed as I sat beside him on another bar stool. I took a deep breath and looked at Liam as he slipped a bowl in front of me with my own cereal. I thanked him and slowly ate, avoiding eye contact and looking down into my bowl.

Liam slid a little cup of water in front of me with a little pill. I looked up at him and gave him a forced smile.

Take your medication, Joel. You'll feel better." Wyatt told me. I frowned and muttered back to him.

"But if I do you and Adrian and Boris will go away," I said. Wyatt chuckled in my head.

Joel, you don't need us here with you. We're only causing you trouble. Take the pill. He told me. I sighed and nodded, forcing the little tablet on my tongue and swallowing with a gulp of water. Liam smiled and nodded.

"Are they helping?" Liam asked as he leaned on the bar. I looked at him with a half-smile and nodded stiffly.

"A little. Boris doesn't talk to me anymore. And I don't see Adrian and Wyatt as much. They still talk though." I said and watched him nod. I looked back down at my cereal before finishing it off.

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"How are the Anti-Psychotics working, Joel?" Dr. Brucker asked as I sat across from her. I just nodded softly. I didn't know how much I should tell her. What if she just wanted my secrets and she just wanted to kill me afterward? What if she wanted to hurt Liam...and...Peyton? As odd as it was for me to admit, I actually did start caring about Peyton as the 'delusions,' as they called them, started to diminish.

It's okay, Joel, she doesn't want to hurt you. You can tell her. Wyatt whispered. I jumped and looked around, making Dr. Brucker stare at me worriedly.

"Joel, are you alright?" Dr. Brucker asked as she leaned in closer to me over the desk. I squeaked and glanced at her with wide eyes. I nodded quickly and smiled falsely.

"Yes, I'm alright, Wyatt told me that I can tell you the truth," I said and she raised her eyebrow and looked me up and down before sitting back in her seat.

"I see. So the Anti-Psychotics are helping?" She asked and I nodded again.

"Yes, Ma'am, Boris doesn't really talk to me anymore and Adrian and Wyatt don't appear as much, they really just talk to me." I said shyly, avoiding eye contact and staring all around the room. Dr. Brucker nodded and sighed, pulling out my file and laying it on the table.

She took a small note out and began scribbling onto it in her chicken scratch handwriting.

"Well, Joel, I'm going to recommend that you start being integrated into the local High School. We'll start with one to two days a week depending on your symtoms and how you're feeling, okay? I want you to lead a normal life, Joel. I want to help you," she told me. I just nodded and felt my hands begin to shake uncontrollably.

I had to go to school? With...other people? What if...what if one of them wanted to kill me? What if they hurt Liam and Peyton? I didn't know if I would be able to handle that, although it seemed I didn't have a choice in the matter. Liam would probably make me go anyway.

I heard Dr. Brucker tap the file on the desk and stack the papers together before sliding them back into a file cabinet. I nodded as she handed me the paper and excused me and slipped out of her office, seeing Liam waiting for me in the second chair from the door like usual. He was reading a magazine and waiting for me as I stood in front of him. He glanced up at me with a gentle smile.

"Are you ready to go?" He asked and I nodded handing him Dr. Brucker's note silently. Liam gave me a perplexed look before reading the note and freezing up. He glanced up at me with wide eyes and I avoided his eyes completely and stared intently at the argyle patterned carpeting in the office. "Are you okay with this, Joel?" Liam asked and I shrugged. He took it as a yes and smiled weakly and stood up, setting the magazine down. "Okay, we should probably get you some school supplies then, huh, bud?" He asked, placing his large hand on my shoulder. I nodded shakily and followed him wearily out of the office building and into the car.