Our Forbidden Romance

years

Everyone cleaned the room, Harry let them clean the blood, he ate,he slept, he took medication.
It was mostly because they said ghat Draco wouldn't like to see him like this, it worked everytime.
He hated it when Draco give him a look of pity and sadness at the same time.

He took the letter he wrote, he hid it under the pillow Draco used to sleep in.

Days go by and the letters weren't being hidden anymore, he wrote nonstop, he skipped classes, his food was delivered for him,he almost felt bad,but he knew he needed time.
Graduation is so close, and Draco was gone.

He wrote 2-3 times a day, telling Draco everything that had happened, like he ate,he showered, he laughed,he smiled, knowing Draco,he would cringe, but he would be proud to see Harry standing up again.

Untill he stopped writing, Graduation was long gone, they seperated,he's now at grimmauled place, alone, Ron and Hermione asked him alot if they wanted to move in, he refused.
Its been years, he writes every now and then, boxes full of letters, sometimes he mails it,into no one knows, it might've ended in paris or america or somewhere in Asia- he didn't know.

Its been years and Graduation was long long gone, Draco's ashes were spread throughout hogwarts, he did it on graduation day, he was fresh and happy, even tho skipped a week of classes, he somehow managed to graduate.

Some of the ashes he gave to Draco's parents, some where in the letters he had given away, some were scattered in the house, he thought that if he do this he would feel Draco.... he didn't

He's locked up in the house, ordering food every now and then,his body became thiner, he bacame paler, not as pale as Draco was,but still pale.

-

It's been 5 years since it happened, he's still the same, Hermione got pregnant, Pansy got a girlfriend, Blaise got a job, and he was...

He would sometimes let his friends visit him, when Hermione and Ron came, he almost fainted because he didn't knew that Hermione was pregnant, her belly was... big, it scared him, they hang out a bit,sometimes they'd play games, sometimes Harry would laugh, and everytime he do he writes it down adding another layer of letter.

Sometimes he would cook his own meal,sometimes he'd order takeouts, sometimes he'd shower motivated,sometimes he would just stare at himself in the bathroom mirror.
Sometimes he'd sleep,sometimes he need to take a pill to sleep, fighting the urge to shove it down his throat.

But he knows Draco wouldn't like seeing that,he knows Draco's watching him, he just doesn't feel him...

Sometime he would go out for a walk, going circles at the park, avoiding conversations, he would celebrate his birthday with his friends, he would celebrate Draco's birthday twice on his birthweek, his present were always chocolate, he would put a charm on it so it never spoils, sometimes he'd get expensive jewelry, or he would keep the present Draco's parents got for him, he celebrate Draco's birthday with his friends and with Draco's parents, the only day of the year he truly felt sad...

He would sometimes clean, if he's motivated enough,or if he's convinced himself enough that Draco wouldn't like the house dirty, as Sirius gave this house to him and to his lover.

He was depressed, he suffers from mental illnesses but he manages to get by, some people think he have bipolar or something, Hermione says he have ptsd, when she read a book about mental illnesses.
But he didn't care,he was just sad but sometimes happy. It didn't matter.