johnlock oneshots

Monopoly

"And what happened exactly, sir? What was the problem?" asked the fireman, as they were standing in the middle of the burned down living room of the 221b Baker Street.

"Huf" the interested huffed and obnoxiously crossed his arms on his chest. "Nothing happened. There was no problem at all. We were playing Monopoly and the candle just... fell."

Sherlock clicked his tongue in anger.

"That is not true, my dear. You were annoyed I won -again, might I say- and you flipped the board in anger, which pushed the candle, that fell on the rule book. Thats the truth. Those are the facts!"

The tone was raising between the two and both of them were stepping closer and closer.

"The truth, if you want it, is that you are a stupid insolent bra- "

"Oi, shut up you two!". Everyone turned their head toward the door, where Lestrade was standing, an extra-annoyed look on his face. "Now, you two will be nice, sit in your chairs and tell us what else Sherlock have done. I do not have all my day."

If John just went and sit down in his chair like a kid, Sherlock shouted and gestured all around, outraged: "I did NOT do anything! Why is everyone always shouting at me! John did it! He lost and snapped. Thats not my fault if he has anger issues!"

At these words, the DI turned his head toward John. "You again?" The poor doctor looked like a kid again. "Yes, I lost my nerves! Im sorry."

Lestrade sighed and ran his hand over his face. "Do you realise that they created a new division in the NSY just for your calls? A division that can be run by me and by me only? You are turning me crazy. Next time something like this happens, there will be no cases for Sherlock for a month."

If John looked annoyed, Sherlock was horrified. He threw himself toward Greg, shouting at him: "WHY AM I PUNISHED?! It is not my fault! Not this time at least..." "Calm down Sherlock, its not you whos punished, but John. I know you wont let this happen and even if it does, Im sure youll be soooo insufferable that it wouldnt happen once more... huh John?" The latter turned white at the idea of Sherlock not having cases for an entire month and nodded quickly.

"Great, now see you, Ive got a real division to run." The DI turned around and left the flat, along with the fireman.

John sighed and it only took him a glance around the living room to know it would take hours to clean all the mess everywhere. And the ashes thatll stick to every single centimeter of furniture in the flat... and theyll need a new couch. And a new coffee table.

He crouched and began to pick up the burnt materials. When Sherlock did the same thing, he protested: "You dont have to do this, Sherlock. Im responsible of that mess, Ill clean it. Just... go and think."

"Dont be silly. Ill help you. The faster those trashes are out, the faster Ill have my chair back." John smiled and thanked him. After a few minutes, Sherlock took his phone out and tapped on it for a while. He then put it back in his pocket as the first chords of Somebody Told Me by Maneskin echoed in the flat.

John looked up in shock and chuckled: "You? Listening to that?" "Oh shut up!"

The two friends smiled at each other and resumed their work.

Next day, they put new wallpaper on the wall -the exact same design, of course.

Next week, all the damage furniture was replaced and a month later, all the ashes were gone.

And as for the DIs threat, John made himself extra-sure that it would never occur.