Change
I want something to change
I feel something often now days
Like curling in my stomach
A tightening in my chest
I should be happy, right?
I don't feel comfortable
I don't feel at home
Why do I want to go to boarding school?
Harder classes?
Better opportunities?
Because I want to know what the experience is like?
Or am I just running away
Am I trying to find a home?
We are no longer broke
We live in a big house
Have more than enough to eat
I go to a nice school
You have a nice job
But why do I feel like I do?
I wish I could explain the feeling
Do I want to move?
Yes
Do I want to become a Head Tech at my school?
Yes
All the things I want
Are polar opposites
I want to move
No, not in state
Out of state
Out of the country would be better
I feel out of place
Even in the place, I feel most comfortable
I don't feel like I belong
I love my friends
But they cannot fix this feeling I have
Everything I am a part of can't fix it
Why?
Why do I feel like this?
Wouldn't studying abroad be enough?
Heck, why isn't public school enough?
It's enough for most of the country
We have nothing holding us here now
Nothing but ourselves
They are trying to move to Arizona
Once they leave
What reason is there to stay?
Who do I talk to?
You?
You don't want me leaving
And with the wedding, your help is nil
Him?
Just not close enough yet
It's only been eight months
Them?
He isn't helpful when silent
She can't stick to one subject
My counselor?
Definitely un-helpful
Am I being selfish?
Dr. M told me to think of myself
