10 Years || Ryeji

9.

Once again they found themselves in a parking lot. Only this time they weren't teenagers anymore. This time Yeji was no longer clueless about her feelings.

Everything had been laid on the table. Ryujin had practically confessed by singing her song to Yeji. By showing her that even after years she remained on her mind.

Yeji leaned against her car and Ryujin stood in front of her. Hands in her pocket while they looked at each other. Neither daring to speak for a moment.

"Another parking lot." She commented, smiling while she looked around and took in how familiar the scene was.

"Yeah, another one."

Ryujin nodded, taking a step towards the girl. "So, can I know where you actually live?"

"Ryujin..." Yeji whispered, her soft voice serving as a warning.

Clicking her tongue, Ryujin took a deep breath. She understood, but it didn't make it hurt any less. Then again, they're adults now. And Yeji was nothing but her high school crush.

"You?"

"Me?"

"Yeah." Yeji said before biting her lower lip, hesitating. "Where do you live?"

Ryujin shrugged. She had an apartment but it was a big leap to state that she lived there. Her home was the road. Moving from place to place.

"I live out of a suitcase."

Yeji nodded, her gaze focused on the space between them.

"Do you come to this town often?"

Ryujin shook her head. Silence falling between them yet again.

"I can..." She took a breath. "I'll give you my number. You can call me. Or text."

The other didn't seem fond of the idea. "You're never in one place for long."

Of course, that was true.

Even if there was no boyfriend. Even if there was nobody coming in between them. Ryujin was never there. Wouldn't it be selfish to try and hold onto Yeji? Try and offer her a glimpse of something that could never be?

What happened if she gave Yeji her phone number and the other actually contacted her? What then? Ryujin would still be on the road.

"It's a bad idea, isn't it?"

Ryujin had unconsciously moved closer, nearly leaning onto the other. Their faces close enough that she would barely have to move for their noses to bump.

"Yes, it's a terrible idea."

Yeji's gaze was locked on her lips and she had noticed. That single piece of information making her mind go blank with any other thoughts. Licking her lips, she couldn't help but focus on that and leave behind any thoughts of a boyfriend or a career that made it impossible for them to be together.

"Yeji." The girl whispered again, as her fingers brushed away the stray hair from her face. Smiling while Yeji continued to avoid meeting her gaze. "Why is it so terrible?"

"You know why." the other answered, barely audible even if their faces were nearly touching each other's. "You're never around."

Her fingers moved from Yeji's hairs to gentle touch her jawline, guiding her face to finally look her way. Their eyes meeting and all intensity behind their gazes leaving her speechless for a second too long. "I'm here now." Ryujin whispered back, smiling fondly at the other woman.

"You can't ask me for that, Ryu. You can't expect me to leave what I have back home for a fleeting moment."

Ryujin nodded, resting her forehead against Yeji's and closing her eyes. "I'm sorry."

Yeji chuckled, both her hands cupping Ryujin's face softly. "For what? You did nothing to be sorry about."

She nodded but the feeling was still there. The need to apologize for not having made a move in time. For not having loved Yeji right. For being unable to offer her what she would like to.

"Can I kiss you?" she whispered. It was selfish. Perhaps the most selfish thing she had ever done in her life.

Their lips met without so much as a word coming from the other woman. Soft lips meeting hers, at first barely touching. So soft that Ryujin thought she might have imagined. Until the kiss was no longer soft. Until Yeji held her so close that she thought maybe the feeling of not wanting to let go and past regret was mutual. Because for how tightly Yeji had been holding her, Ryujin had been doing just the same.

Minutes later Ryujin sat down with her friends again in the bar booth. Drink in hand and the taste of liquor mixed with Yeji on her mouth. Laughing along with her friends and trying to forget the girl that had just driven away from her life once again.