Chapter Forty-Four

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Demi felt panic setting in as the daylight began to slip away, making room for the stars to shine. She had been out looking for Kesha all day without success. Samantha and Monica were also out looking, along with Richard and Ryan - whom Demi had bumped into while they were on their way to work in the garden as usual. They had dropped everything, giving up a day's pay, to help find the young girl.

"See, baby girl? You are loved. So, so loved! Why can't you see it?" Demi thought miserably.

She just didn't understand it, Kesha was beautiful, strong, funny, smart, loved girl, but still she couldn't see it. Still she starved herself, still she cut her skin, still she wanted to die. It was all just so unfair. Why did innocent people have to suffer? How was that ever okay?

Demi felt tears run down her cheeks for the thousandth time that day as she unlocked her phone. She dialled the numbers of Monica's number, which she had leant by heart after the amount of times she had called it that day. Her tears made it difficult and she barely managed the task.

"Demi? Is she safe? Did you find her?" Monica asked the second she answered. Demi's silence was answer enough. "No..." Monica answered her own question. Silence fell on them, neither of the knowing what to say next. What was there to say? Monica's reaction clearly told Demi that Kesha hadn't been found by them either.

"What's up?" Monica asked, just to break the silence. They both knew why Demi had called, and they both knew the answer. Demi's voice cracked when she tried to answer and very soon she was sobbing hysterically down the phone.

"Hey, hey, don't cry..." Monica whispered soothingly. "We'll find her, alright? Everything will be fine. She'll be fine."

"N-no, it won't. I-it's al-all my f-fault, Monica!" Demi sobbed, clutching the phone. "If I hadn't of come-"

"You really think that would have changed anything!?!" Monica cried in exasperation. "Don't be stupid, Demi! You put more life in that girl than I've seen in ages! I know she was mad all the time, but at least she was feeling! At least she was actually there for once! Don't you see, you saved her. It's dangerous to have a girl who doesn't feel. She stopped herself reacting to anything to stop the pain, but if you don't feel the bad stuff you can't feel the good stuff either."

Demi was silent at that. She had been there. She had felt that. It had very nearly been the death of her. Monica was right, something had needed to happen, Kesha couldn't have carried on the way she was.

"You're right," Demi replied softly. "You're right..."

"Come on," Monica said gently. "Come back to mine and have a rest. We'll stay out and keep looking for you. I really think you should take a break."

"No, I can't. What about Kesha?" Demi protested, although the exhaustion was clear in her voice.

"You're no good to her tired. Anyway, Samantha's at mine with her siblings so you could take over from her and she'll come out. It will mean that the same amount of people are still out looking," Monica persuaded. Demi didn't answer and just twiddled her hands anxiously. "Please, Demi?"

"Alright," Demi whispered in a strangled voice. She felt like she was betraying Kesha somehow by giving in, but she was too tired to fight now.

"Thank you," Monica said in relief. "By the way, the second I see you I'm giving you a hug, got it?" She added with a forced laugh. Demi laughed back, managing a small smile, and mumbled a thanks. "Hang in there, darling. It's going to be fine."

Kesha stayed curled up in the barn at the back of her house, Misty beside her. She obviously hadn't been there all day, that would have meant getting caught immediately, but once it had started to get dark, she had quickly retreated there in terror. Who knew what horrible things might happen to her out on the streets at night! She was brave, but not stupid.

She stroked Mist with a shaking hand as he nuzzled into her side, she loved her horse. He seemed to sense her unhappiness.

"There, there..." She whispered half-heartedly. "We'll be fine, boy." He whickered softly back to her, the usually quiet noise deafeningly loud in the silent barn. Kesha winced, hoping the sound wouldn't attract attention. "Shh," she whispered. "We have to be quiet for now, no noise..."

As it got later and later, Kesha felt her fear rise higher and higher. Soon she couldn't take the silence anymore; she just had to break it somehow.

"Hold me close and hold me fast,
This magic spell you cast,
This is la vie en rose.

When you kiss me,
Heaven sighs,
And though I close my eyes,
I see la vie en rose.

When you press me to your heart,
I am in a world apart,
A world where roses bloom.

And when you speak,
Angels sing from above,
Everyday words seem to turn into love songs.

Give your heart and soul to me,
And life will always be,
La vie en rose..." Kesha sang softly, stroking Misty in time to her voice. He lay completely still as she sang, as if under a spell. Kesha smiled, it felt like years since she had sang and it gave her a sense of relief.

Her short moment of bliss was shattered by a terrifying sound coming from outside.

Voices.

Kesha jumped up like she'd been shot, scaring Mist in the process. She muttered a sorry as she sprinted out of the barn, but it got lost in the wind.

Ryan and Richard were walking down the path of Kesha's garden, calling her name. They were too far away for Kesha to hear what they were saying, or to recognise their voices. Neither party knew how close the other was. That what they wanted was merely a few steps away...

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