If You Only Knew

Chapter 3

"I love you to Hazza, you are my best friend in the entire world no matter who you like. Now come on we have a show to watch" Louis grins. "Okay Lou" I snuggle in closer to him at this point i don't think i could get any closer to him, I mean i could but i know that is not going to happen. We only made it through one and half episodes before Louis was snoring quietly beside me. I turn to face him and take the time to admire his face, the way his hair falls around his face, his cute little nose, his soft lips that make me want to lean down and kiss him. I get lost in the beauty that is Louis Tomlinson. "Goodnight Lou, I love you so much, i just wish you knew how much." I whisper before turning off the episode and curling up into Louis before falling asleep.

             ————The Next Morning————

"Boobear it's time to get up" Jay say's while entering Louis room, Jay smiles at the boys cuddled up asleep. "Boobear, Harry loves, you boys need to wake up you have school." "Morning Mum" Louis groans opening his eyes slowly. "Hi Love, did Anne have to work late again?" Jay asks looking at Harry. "Yeah he doesn't like being home alone so i told him he could stay here" Louis turns to look at his best friend and smiles. Jay watches Louis and the way his eyes light up while Louis is staring at his best friend. "of course love, Harry is always welcome here you know i love him like he is my own. Now wake him up and one down for breakfast." Jay leaves the room before Louis can respond.

"Hazza, wakes wakes, if you don't hurry i am going to straighten your hair." Louis giggles into Harry's ear "You wouldn't dare!" "You know i would Curly! Now get up before we are both late for school and my mum kicks both of our butts!" "Okay Okay, can i borrow some close" I laugh. Louis gets up and hands me a pair of sweats and t-shirt. We both get ready, each of us taking our turns to shower, i use my spare tooth brush that i keep at Louis because i spend many nights here. Once we are both ready we head down stairs eating a quick breakfast before hopping into Louis car and heading out the door to school.

———— At Lunch Break ————

"Hey Haz!" Niall shouts causing me to jump from behind my locker. "Hi Niall, how are you?" " I'm alright, are you coming to lunch?" "Yeah i am just waiting for Lou" "Oh i am pretty sure i saw him leave with Eleanor" Niall states confused. "Oh, okay well let's head out then i guess." I frown closing my locker. Why didn't Lou tell me he was going to be with Eleanor, we always have lunch together, he could have at least texted me. "Okay sweet Liam and Zayn are waiting for us at my car!" Niall says breaking me out of my thoughts. Niall and i walk in silence to Niall's car, only speaking when we reach the car to great Zayn and Liam. While Louis and i have been friend's forever, we only started hanging out with Liam, Zayn and Niall last year. I really like these guys they are pretty great dudes. Niall is our loud, dyed blonde Irish, Liam is our serious yet can be very goofy  brown haired designated Mum of the group, Zayn is our resident mysterious artsy boy, but deep down he is a kind hearted loveable boy who cares a lot about his friends and family.

They arrive at the this cute little cafe that was only a few blocks from the school. The four boys head to a corner booth and start looking down at the menu's that the server placed on the table. "So who is excited for Halloween this year?" Liam asks. "Lou and i usually just stay home and watch scary movies, eating lots of junk food" Harry tells the boys not looking up from his menu. "Oh that sounds fun, we should all do that can we join H?" Zayn chimes in. "Yes of course, it would be fun to have more people!" Harry looks up from his menu and smiles and Zayn. They all fall into a comfortable silence while they look at their menu's trying to decide what to order. After 5 minutes the server comes by taking the boys orders.

"So what is everyone's plan for this weekend?" Niall say's breaking the silence. "Lou and i usually go to his house on Friday's you guys should join, we watch movies, play video games and of course eat junk food." "Oh that's fun i am in!" Zayn cheers. "Awesome i will talk to Lou!". We continue to make small talk while they eat their lunch. After a while i looked at my phone and realizes the time. "Oh shit guys, we need to get going or we are going to be late." They all agree and get into Niall's car and head back to school.

Once arriving back at school i head straight to his locker, I really enjoyed lunch with the boys but i felt like their was a missing piece the entire time. "Hey Hazza! Sorry i didn't tell you about lunch." Louis says breaking  me from his thoughts. "It's okay Lou, oh i um i invited Niall, Liam and Zayn to our Friday night hangout, i hope that's okay?" "Oh about that Haz, i can't do this Friday, i have my date with Eleanor Friday night." "But we always hangout Friday nights it's our tradition" I frown looking down at my feet. "I'm sorry Haz, but i mean it won't kill us to miss one Friday night hangout right?" "Yeah it starts with one and then it will be every other Friday night until you forget about me" I mumble. "Sorry what was that curly?" Louis asks unable to understand Harry's mumbling. "Nothing i have to go to class, bye Louis." "Bye Haz". I leave a very confused Louis standing at his locker. Harry know's he doesn't have a right to be upset, but it hurts seeing Louis find someone. 

               ———— After School ————

"Hey Haz, are you coming over after school?" Louis asks grabbing his book from his locker. "No i am going home, i will see later by Louis" I close my locker and starts to walk away leaving a confused Louis standing there once again. I know  I am being dramatic and but i feel like i need to create the space on my own terms so it won't hurt so much when Louis leaves. "Um okay, bye Haz... text me later..." I hear Louis say.

I start walking home getting lost in his thoughts when he suddenly hears a knock. "Hazza get in let me drive you home." Louis shouts out his open window. "Honestly Lou i would rather walk today i wouldn't mind the fresh air." "Haz, why are you upset with me? What did i do?" "I am not upset with you Louis" "Really you could have fooled me Harry. Whatever call me when you are ready to get over whatever is going on with you" Louis rolls up his window and speeds off.

Tears instantly start streaming down my cheeks. I am not upset with Louis i wasn't lying, the truth  is i am upset with myself. I am pissed at myself for being so in love with my best friend that i can't be happy for him finding someone he cares about. I am upset with myself because i am not strong enough to watch him walk away. As if on cue it starts raining. "That's great just fucking great!" Shout and start walking faster in order to make it home before i get drenched. 

After a 20 minute walk home it was no such luck i was drenched from head to toe. I walk into my house quickly taking off my shoes and race upstairs to take a shower to warm myself up. I stand under the water stream for a while just feeling the heat flowing down my body. Finally I use my strawberry kiwi shampoo and mango body wash cleaning myself from top to bottom. Once i finish showering i get out throwing on a t-shirt and a pair of sweats, before deciding to head downstairs to find my mum.

"Mum! Are you home?" I head downstairs into the kitchen. "Mum!" I am met with silence. I notice a note on the counter. Hi Love, Working a late shift tonight, Won't be home until tomorrow. Love you! - Mom. Great... I can't even go to Loui's..... I head back upstairs to my room and fall on my bed as the tears fall from my eyes. I am so stupid. I spend the next hour and a half beating myself up mentally until i hear a knock at the door. I head back downstairs to the front door. I slowly open the door. "Hi..."