If You Only Knew

Chapter 2

10 minutes had passed and I was still frozen in the bathroom with tears streaming down my face. my knees are in my chest and I have my arms wrapped around my knees with my face hidden searching for any kind of comfort I could find. I could hide my feelings for Louis but now that he is interested in someone and actually going on a date with them there is an ache in my chest that I can't seem to get rid of. I don't know how I am going to be able to continue to hide these feeling for him.

A quiet knock brings be out of my thoughts. "Harry" Lottie says from the other side of the door. I quickly get up and wipe the tears from my eyes, splashing my face with water. I slowly open the door..."Hey Lottie"

"Oh Harry come here" Lottie pulls me into a tight hug, the tears i was trying to hold back instantly stream down my face as i hide my face in Lottie's shoulder. "I am sorry Haz... my brother is an idiot." Shocked by her words i pull away from her embrace and look at Lottie."w-what do. You mean?"

"Oh Haz, i know love, it's very obvious that you are in love with him. Well to everyone other than my brother... like i said he is an idiot." I look down at my feet. "He ummm has a date with Eleanor... it hurts me so much, I just want him to be happy and find someone that makes him happy.... I just really wish that it could have been me Lottie." "I am so sorry Harry i wish she could return these feelings for you... i really do." Lottie pulls me in for another hug.

"Thank you Lottie i really appreciate you, you really are like my little sister. How did you get so old and wise aren't you like 10 years old?" I joke. Lottie laughs and jokingly shoves my shoulder. "Hey i am only a year younger than you!" We both laugh for a few minutes. "No but seriously Lottie thank you" I pull Lottie in for another hug. "You are like my big brother H, i am always here for you"

"Oh Haz, there you are" I look up and see Louis standing in the hallway giving me a confused look. "Are you coming?" Louis asks. "Oh Hi Lou, sorry year i am coming now" I stand up off the floor and and give Lottie one last hug whispering a quiet thank you and saying goodbye before heading back into Louis room. Upon entering Louis room i sit on his bed, Louis is standing in the corner by his dresser looking off.

"Um Haz.. what is going on between you and my sister"  I give him a confused look. "What do you mean Lou?" "Are you into my sister?" Louis asks.  I couldn't contain my laughter, the fact that he thought i was into Lottie. If he only knew what i was really feeling. "Oh my god! Lou no Lottie is like a little sister to me1 Why do you even think that?" "You two just seemed really close in that hallway there." "Oh Lou we were just talking in the hallway i am not into her like that" I laugh. "Okay good I would have to kick your ass if you did!" Louis breaths a sigh of relief. "Well you don't have to worry about that Lou" I giggle. She's not the Tomlinson that i am in love with... if you only knew. God i am in love with this boy, his beautiful blue eyes, feathery brown hair, curvy body, nice round ass from all the soccer and skateboarding. God i am in love with this boy and he has no idea.

"Come on Hazza, lets go play some video games" Louis hands me a controller, we spend the rest of the evening together playing video games laughing and goofing around. After Louis kicks my ass at FIFA for the 10th time we decide to lay on Louis's bed and just talk about life. "Lou..." "Yeah Haz?" "Mum is working late again tonight... i really don't want to be alone can i please stay here tonight?" I fiddle with my fingers the idea of going home right now to an empty house terrifies me. "Of course love" Louis smiles at me before pulling me in for a tight hug. This is another reason why i love Louis so much, i never have to explain myself he just knows me, he knows that i hate that my mum always works late and she is never home, that i am left alone most nights.

"Thank you Boobear, you really are the best" Louis always cringes when i call him Boobear but i know secretly he loves it. "Of course Hazza, now come on let's go watch a movie before bed" Louis chuckles getting up off the bed to pick a movie "Okay deal, but i expect Boobear cuddles!" Another reason why i love Louis, he gives the best cuddles in the world. His arms can make anyone feel safe, he is warm and soft and just amazing.

"Obviously Hazza, it wouldn't be a proper Lou and Haz sleepover without cuddles!" Louis laughs. "Yay!" I get off the bed giggling and jump into Louis arms. "Come on Haz, let's get back into bed" Louis carries me back to bed laying me down on my side of the bed before he climbs in and turns on Haunting of Hill House. I snuggle in close to Louis resting my hand on his stomach, Louis wraps his arms around my shoulder pulling me in close. I fit perfectly into Louis's side like it is made just for me. I looked up at Louis "If i have nightmare's Lou i am going to have to beat you up" "I would like to see you try" Louis says laughing.  "Heeeeeey i have muscles see!" I flex my arms making my small arm muscles pop out. Louis just laughs at me and rolls his eyes. "You are something else Curly" I giggle and cuddle back into Louis, i am warm, safe, loved... i realize that i need to tell Louis how i am feeling it suddenly having the courage now. "Hey ummm Lou..." "Yes Curly" I look into Louis's eyes and immediately that courage is gone. "Umm... n-never mind Lou.." "Haz what is going on in that mind of your's i can tell that there is something you want to tell me i can see it in your eyes. Love it is a safe place you can tell me anything." He pulls me in closer. Okay Harry you can do this just tell him. "Um Lou, well you umm remember when i said earlier i didn't have feelings for Lottie?" "You are not telling me that you actually do have feelings for her are you?" Louis shifts away from me looking me in my eyes. "No! N-no Lou i swear i don't it's um see that's the thing i-i don't think that i l-like girls at all... i-i think i-i l-like boys... I am sorry if this makes you uncomfortable Lou i will just go sleep downstairs on the couch. I-i j-just-" Tears are streaming down my face at his point and i am unable to form a single sentence. I don't know why i did this. I am so stupid i shouldn't have said anything.

"Oh Hazza, come here love" Louis pulls me in for a tight hug. "Haz, i love you no matter who you love. I am so proud of you for telling me this thank you and don't you dare go downstairs. I need my Hazzie cuddles." "Thank you for accepting me Louis, i love you" i cuddle back into him.

If only you knew how much...