Between Love and Admiration

Chapter 11

"Are you Nick's girlfriend?" I turned to face the girl standing before me, recognizing Brittany, a tall and androgynous student. She had pale skin that reminded me of mustard. She looked at me expectantly, "yes." I said preparing myself for whatever drama she was bringing to me. Nick and I had been together for 2 weeks and I was waiting for people to try and make me doubt him. Knowing how everything that happened between Alana and Jessica was egged on by the student body for their entertainment. I wasn't worried about anything they tried because I trusted him. But she was an upperclassman that I had never talked to before so this was very weird. "Ok, you're pretty girl! I wish you the best of luck." she said but her eyes were devilish as she typed in her phone continuing down the hall. WTF. I headed to class knowing that the bell was going to ring soon. Making it barely on time, I was preparing to speak when I looked down at my phone, seeing there was a message from a number I didn't recognize. S/O to Central High's very own homewrecker and a fake ass hoe. She will suck your man just like she did mine. Attached was a picture of me from my page, it was my cover photo on Facebook. Alana! I knew who it was when I looked up to share with my friends the childish move. "Why would you send this to me? How is that going to hurt me?" I asked, laughed until I looked up and saw everyone looking at me. Everyone except Dani who was busy typing in her phone. Stormi and Summer were looking conflicted and the rest of the class was waiting to see how I would react. She sent it to everyone? How? There was no way she had the whole schools number. Turning around, I walked up to her table where I knew she wasn't but still I went, "Where is she?" I hissed to the girls at Alana's table. "We don't know... She ain't here though." the one on the end said with a roll of her neck. "Who are you rolling your neck at?!" I snapped, I was already upset and the last thing I needed was a cosign from someone who didn't even know me. Ms. Riley's voice was all I heard next as I felt her hands on my arm, pulling me back to my seat. "One more word and you WILL be out of here." she said, voice heavy with warning. Great, even her aunt was in on it. Her aunt!! Jerking my arm from her and walking back to my seat. When I looked back and saw the hurt and shock in her face, I instantly regretted it. Teachers wouldn't have students' cell phone numbers. I was losing it.

After class dismissed, I knew I needed to apologize to Ms. Riley. Taking a breath and as I waited for the class to clear out, I approached her at her desk. It was covered in photos of her family, there was also an array of art supplies on the side. It was almost May and we had still never painted. "I'm sorry." I said, it was meant to come out soft but instead sounded weak and forced. She looked up at me, "Come again?" this time I was nervous. She didn't look like she had much patience left for me at this point, "I am sorry for snatching away from you. I was upset because Alana did something. Do you know how I can reach her?" I asked, forcing myself to maintain eye contact thinking about what Nick told me about coming across timid. The silence was thick and felt like it would never end, just as I was about to say forget it and run off she sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose and stood up. "She is getting treatment." she was a little taller than me but we were almost at eye level as I saw the sadness in her eyes, "I'm only telling you this so you won't make things harder for her. I don't know what happened today but she can't have a cell phone where she is so it wasn't her. I'm sorry you girls couldn't be friends but don't let a nasty little boy make you embarrass yourself." she nodded at me before she ushered me out the classroom and into the hall. I don't think I would have been able to move if she wasn't guiding me, once we were in the halls where the students who were rushing to make it on time to their next class, I watched them wondering if they knew what was going on. I was in shocked. Alana had gone to get help? Was she forced or did she OD? I wanted to talk to her but I knew Mrs. Riley was right, that wouldn't help either of us. I felt Ms. Riley's presence fade away as I was on autopilot, just walking past all the teachers and students in a daze. I had told her I'd be there for her and I wasn't. I had accused her of doing something and she was in rehab, fighting for her health. My legs led me to the side door that Alana led us out the first time we hung out. I needed to get out of here. I started to call Nick to get me but that felt wrong. Not now, not for this. I needed to be alone. So I walked until I was in the park and finally I stopped, gave in and I cried. I cried because I still cared for her and I cried because I had caused it.