Tore Notes

~The Story~

Sometimes I wonder what my life would look like if I wrote it all down on post its. If I wrote about my tears and my laughs and sometimes just drew them and stuck them on a wall for the world to see.

When I die, when my body is found, then the world could look there and see why I was killed. How I found out, shortly before I died, that love is a heartless bastard, and now I am trapped with this guy who is itching to spill my blood. I am stuck here in a van, in a place that I've never been before, and I have this odd feeling that the end is near. That I am about to leave this world because of someone that claimed to love me.

I'm just waiting now. I don't care what happens to the monster who decides to kill me. I just hope that someone will find this one day, and spread awareness. So that it will never ever happen to anyone ever again.

---

I was walking with my mom from school when I spotted a van that was shaking. My walker squeaked. My red hijab ruffled against the wind and I thought that it was the best day to go to the library and grab a book for the weekend.

Ma was talking on the phone and I tuned her out, watching my denim covered legs take steps that a few years ago, never felt the ground under them. Allah only gave me that privilege after I started high school. My red tennis sneakers were touching the pavement before letting the air fill in the space that they left behind.

But then I heard screaming.

It was so sudden, that both me and Ma jumped back in surprise. I looked in the direction the screams were coming from and saw the van that we passed earlier was open. There were two people there screaming at each other, with wild gestures and red faces.

Ma stopped, the phone still pressed against her hijab. We watched them fight.

There was a girl, her beautiful wavy brown hair pulled back into a high ponytail and her wide eyes rimmed red. "I hate you!!! How could you do such a thing?!"

The person she was arguing with was turned so that we could only see their back, but from the voice I could tell that it was a male. "What do you mean??? You're being so fucking dramatic I swear-"

"Don't curse at me you heartless piece of meat!!" She was crying. I wondered what the guy did to get her so upset. "How could you-"

"You act like it matters Zoe." He answered. I was starting to wish I could see his face. It would help me remember this much better. "We're on a trip all around the US. We're supposed to have fun. How are we going to do that when you are screaming at me like a headless chicken?"

She was shaking so hard that I thought she would fall and collapse onto the ground. Her cheeks were wet with tears, and I knew that someone should step in or something would happen to her. And even though I didn't know her, I felt like I should do something for her.

But I didn't. I just watched. It was like someone screwed my feet to the ground, and made sure that I didn't have the ability to move.

I tried to shake that feeling away. I knew all too well what that feeling was like.

"Because you crashed into that kid for no reason!!! Just because we aren't home doesn't mean that you can do whatever you want!!! What if he dies?! Would you care?"

Even though I couldn't see his face, I could tell that he was glaring at her and I heard him say, "No."

My heart dropped out of my chest for the child that was probably in the emergency room due to this careless little butt for a brain.

"Allahuabkar." My mom said, which means, God is the greatest, and she looked at me. My eyes connected with hers.

We both started walking towards the van, tall and proud, nothing to hide. Because we knew what that was like. The whole situation.