Power of the Kings: Round Two

Broken

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"Are you mad at master, Sakura?" C.C. asks as she hangs up my Infinity dress while I've changed into a casual outfit.

"I've been mad at him for a long time, but it was only the other day that I realized he is no longer the Lelouch that I know," I answer. "When I fell in love with him, we were both ten years old and barely knew anything about love. The day we were separated, I never thought that I would actually see him again. Being sent to Ashford and walking into the classroom where he was, I couldn't believe it. Then I became Infinity because I wanted to give back hope to my people. I wanted to remind them that Britannia wasn't going to rule over them forever. It was all going so well, but now, he only has one focus. He knows that I can take care of himself, but he doesn't believe that Nunnally can live in this world. He'll do whatever he can to save her."

"Even if that means fighting with you?"

"Even that," I take a seat on one of the couches, placing my feet on the coffee table. "Maybe it is my fault for putting so much trust in him. Or for letting a love that was based in a version of him that no longer exists become stronger than the hate that has been festering in my heart."

"Has he always been like he is now?"

"No, and that is what makes me the saddest. All the hurt and pain that he has had to endure has hardened his heart. He doesn't care about who lives or dies on the battlefield. His focus is only on Nunnally."

"Do you think master knows you're upset?"

"Ha," I scoff, looking over to see the girl tidying up the space. "I'm not sure what he thinks anymore. If he even cares that he's made me mad, or if he understands that the two of us are no longer the partners we were over a year ago now. This spiraling can't all be because of what happened when we were pulled into that other realm. I can only guess that the lies, the guilt, the separation between everyone he's ever cared for has been eating away at him all this time, and he's finally snapped."

"Do you plan to leave then?" She doesn't ask this in a malicious way. She's actually genuinely curious about my next steps of action. All because I mention the friendship that used to be between us.

"I'm not sure," I run a hand through my hair. "When I first met Lelouch, he was so angry, and that's probably because he ran into Suzaku first, and my brother used to be as pissed off at Britannia as I was. I wanted to make Lelouch happy. I wanted to show him that he didn't have to be so angry, and that he could find someone that could understand him if he gave a chance at interacting with other people. Maybe I am one of those girls that thinks she could fix a broken boy, but I don't think he was broken. I think he was hurt and need to work through trauma, and sometimes all it takes is talking to another person." I huff, "I'm not sure that I can leave at this point. I'm in too deep. I've seen things, so I am locked in until the end."

"Do you still love him?"

I let out a laugh, "Love? I don't even know who Lelouch is anymore, so I don't think I truly love him after what happened at the Order hideout. I loved him for sure. I loved him when I was ten, and I loved him when this Black Knight rebellion began, but right now, at this very moment, I don't think I can love him. I can't keep putting myself through that kind of pain anymore," I slam my fist into the cushion, causing C.C. to jump and drop a book she has pulled from the bookshelf wall. "It is too easy for him to say something to pull me right back in."

"I don't think he's a bad guy," she slides the book back to where it belongs. "I think that you might balance him out in a way. I think that he's afraid of losing you. He took great care to make sure you were resting and feeling better. I think you mean a lot to him."