WHEN THE SEA IS ROUGH (ill hearts 2)

5

Eunbi

He talked shit and left. Like an adult he obviously was. Like taking your manager's side over your girlfriend's was a normal thing to do. Totally acceptable. Like me being concerned for him was a concept too wild to grasp.

From 6 in the morning, my mood didn't have anywhere lower to drop. Even after eating a tone of good food, going to the salon, and tattooing three people, I still felt like crap when I came back home. Nothing was an activity worth my attention. As ridiculous as it sounds, I felt like not thinking about Jungkook and Jiah travelling to Japan together was going to make him do something stupid. I knew he wouldn't, and I did trust him, but I still didn't want to risk it, so I showered and then lazed around until 9 in the evening, when Jungkook made his way through the front door.

I didn't move from the couch, hinting that I was mad for whatever happened in the morning. He shuffled at the door for a few minutes, and popped into the living room without saying anything, either. I pretended the replay of the old Masterchef was the most eye-catching thing they'd ever played in the TV, even though he knew I didn't even like this show. Jungkook took a sit right next to me and let out a sigh.

I had a small muscle spasm where his arm touched mine, but more than anything I wanted to lean my head on his shoulder and pretend the past two weeks didn't happen. I wanted to pretend darkness wasn't all I saw when thinking about our future. Two weeks doesn't seem like a lot now, but then it was stretching out like a piece of over-chewed gum. So much happened that I believed I aged four years in fourteen days.

He held a white paper bag in his hands, but I didn't notice it until he moved it in front of me.

"What's that?" I asked, glancing from him to the bag, and taking it from his fingers.

"I saw it in Tokyo. It reminded me of you, and I thought you'd like it, so I got it for you," he said, voice soft and hesitant.

I let a necklace with three pendants fall onto my hand, and it took my entire self-control not to burst. I was chanting a mantra in my head, the one I learned in a yoga class for inner peace, so that I wouldn't lose it for the most beautiful necklace I'd ever seen, and one of the most thoughtful gifts he'd ever given me.

"And... I also thought it could be... a good I'm sorry, I fucked up gift," he added, fidgeting with his fingers, before we both looked at each other. He looked like guilt had been eating him alive since he left the house. "I shouldn't have snapped at you like that for no reason. And I should have been more understanding. I'm sorry, darling."

One more glance at the necklace dissolved my worries, reminding me of all the good that went into a relationship. We had a disagreement, but he learned, and still cared, and the necklace was all it really took for me to realize it. (Was it because he thought of me while he was with Jiah? Maybe.)

We locked eyes again, I let my lips curve, and it pulled us into a hug. I leaned my chin on his shoulder, he leaned his on my shoulder, and we stayed like that for a few still moments. I caught a remaining tint of his sweet perfume on his skin, and the comforting warmth between his arms made me close my eyes.

"I missed you," I said. "How was Japan?"

Instead of letting me go, Jungkook pulled me sideways onto his lap, and took the necklace out of my hands to put it around my neck.

"Nothing special. I ran through Tokyo to get to the photo shoot, then to eat, and then to the airport."

"And the photo shoot?" I asked, my hair pushed to the side, cold metal resting against my skin.

"Could have been better." Jungkook sighed, adjusting the pendants on top of my shirt, smiling at them. "I got to know last minute that it was a photoshoot for an underwear company." He chuckled.