Katniss POV;
Time went by slowly as I sat, leaning against the door. My mind shut down, unable to concentrate or think. All I could comprehend was the fact that I was supposed to go hunting... Hunting... Get food... Food... Hunting...
Maybe a few hours passed before there was another soft knock at my door. Wow, so many visitors in a day. I was so used to being ignored. So used to not having company... I had grown custom to being alone...
I stood up slowly, shaking myself slightly as I opened the door to see a very colorful Effie. I smiled widely as I quickly wrapped my arms around the small woman I had grown to love.
"Oh, Effie..." I whispered as she clung to me tightly.
"My Katniss." She took a deep breath and pushed me away. "What has happened to the beautiful girl that won against Capitol?" She cocked her head to the side sadly. "What have they done to our mockingjay?"
I repressed the tears that threatened to spill from my eyes, "I've been so lonely." I muttered quietly. "But it's fantastic to see you, Effie..."
I ushered for her to come inside. We sat around the fire place, her hair was purple, her lips lined with purple lipstick.
"Glad nothing's changed with you." I said with a soft smile. "You look fantastic." I recalled a very dull looking Effie, a very unhappy and depressed Effie back in district 13.
She smiled a bit before looking to the floor, "Katniss, I'm here on business."
My brows pulled together, "what business would that be?"
She let out a shaky breath, "They want you back at the Capitol. They want you to be the spokesman again, to let everyone know that everything's going to get better. That these things just take time..." Her eyes met mine. "There are outbursts from the Capitol people. Outraged at president snows death, there are many people who are banding together." She smiled sadly at me, "they think your voice can coax them into safety... Again."
They wanted me to fix their mistakes... Again?! "Why?" I asked, narrowing my eyes at her. "So they can cast me aside like they did last time? Throw me into an empty section twelve to rot away and be forgotten?" I grimaced at the thought.
"On the bright side... You will be with me every step of the way." She smiled warmly at me, "I have miss you, Katniss..." She stood up and began pacing, stoping at the window as something caught her eye. "Peeta is sitting outside on his steps..." She said quietly.
"He's probably waiting for me to come back, I was supposed to go hunting..." My eyes stayed on the floor, how could they want to put me through this again?
"He looks much better..." She looked down at me puzzled, "did I stop you from hunting, I'm sor-"
"No." I shook my head. "I got lost in thought and found myself immobile on the floor." I leaned back on the couch.
"Katniss, you should do this with me... It will be good for you to get out. See some people. Make something of yourself again..."
"I can't even look outside without hallucinating about the games." I murmured. "I don't think I could even stand in front of a big crowd like that again..."
"All I'm asking is that you try..."
"What about Peeta?" I asked quickly, but her gaze was sad- obviously answering my question.
"The Capitol finds him to be a threat to helping the people. He's finally steady to be around people, but not well enough for this... He doesn't do well in large groups..."
"But..." I felt more tears welling in my eyes. "I just got him back..."
"Just think about it, okay? I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick you up if you choose to accept my request.."
"You mean I actually get a choice?" I glanced up at her.
"No. You have one answer, and if that's not the answer they want..." She walked to the door and turned the Handle. "Reinforcements will be called."
I watched out the window as she gave Peeta a tight hug, but there wasn't much exchanged between them before she left.
soon after, he walked over, but just sat on my steps. He didn't even bother knocking.
I had to go to Capitol. I had to go and save their asses on more time, and try not to get killed in the process. There were riots in the cities, and I was expected to put those riots in their places and calm them down. My words had saved so many people, yet so many were killed due to it also. Could I live with more people dying because of me?
I finally gained the courage to open the door, and I found a smiling Peeta welcoming me. I could get used to this.
"Hey, Katniss." He said quietly as I sat next to him.
"Peeta... We have to talk."
His face tensed, "why, what's up?"
I leaned my head on his shoulder, a small unexpected gasp leaving his lips. But I didn't care, I needed his comfort. "They're asking me to go back to Capitol and continue being a mockingjay for the rich people. There are riots, outbursts, and everything is going to hell."
"And they want you to fix it?" He said quietly from besides me. I nodded, "can I-"
"Effie said you were to much of a risk." My chest squeezed as I buried my face into his shirt. "Peeta, I don't want to go..." I cried.
"Then don't." He said simply, but his body slowly grew ridged. "They're going to try and kill you again..." He said after a minute. "You can't go, Katniss! Someone's going to end up-"
"I don't have a choice, Peeta..." I looked up at him, his face filled with rage and anger.
"They can't make you." He said quietly, his voice growing in hysteria. "They're going to hurt you- you won't be safe! How am I supposed to protect you when I'm not there, Katniss!" He began to panic, running his hands through his hair as he stood up. His eyes flickered around wildly, probably imaging all of the things that could happen to me without his supervision.
"Peeta... Please, calm down..."
"I'll never forgive myself if I let you go and you get hurt, Katniss." He stood in front of me, "it's my job to keep you safe, it always has been. Please, please don't go. Not without me. I need to know you're going to be okay." He bent down so he was eye level with me.
"You know, I knew I missed you..." I set my hand on his cheek, slowly dragging it down as I felt his stubble grind my hand. "But I never knew how much."
His eyes swelled with adoration toward me, "you know how I feel about you-"
"I knew how you felt, Peeta... So much has happened. So much pain and anger has inflicted you at my expense. I didn't know if you would end up hating me at the end of this or-"
"I still love you, Katniss." His words made me stop talking. Stop thinking. Stop breathing. "Through all of this, you've still been here. I tried to kill you, and you're still..." He shook his head as he looked at me with wonder, "I can't describe how much I love you, Katniss. And I've missed you more then words can say..."
"I..." I was unsure of what to say. I knew I loved Peeta, but I was leaving. Leaving for an amount of time I was unsure about. "I don't want to hurt you, Peeta... Not again... I'm leaving- what am I going to do to you if I leave with..." I cut myself off, his face falling.
"I know exactly how you've always felt about me. It's always been so obvious to everyone but yourself." He smiled sadly, "whenever you're ready to come to truths with yourself, I'll be ready to hear it..." He brushed my cheek with his thumb.
"Haymitch was right..." I whispered.
"About?"
"I don't deserve you..."
