Katniss POV;
Peeta and I spent the morning in a familiar silence as he cooked us breakfast. Not many words were spoken, to much had already seemed to be going on to talk. After that, I retreated home on hopes of hunting, maybe catching a big enough bird for a feast for Peeta and I, maybe even Haymitch.
As I was getting dressed inside, there was a loud rasp on the door. I tugged on my shirt and trotted down the stairs, tugging the door open to see a tall blue eyed old friend.
Gale was dressed in swat uniform, his helmet tucked under his arm as he gazed down at me.
"Hello, Katniss." He said quietly, looking around us nervously.
I hadn't even been able to think about Gale in the last few months without getting mad. Furious even.
And now he stood here, and the only words I could form at my mouth were hate. Blame. Agony.
"I was sent to check on you, see how you were doin now that Peetas back..." He finally met my eyes, rage boiling inside of me. "He's back permanently. I don't know if he's safe for you to be around yet but-"
"You lost all privileges of worrying about me, Mr. Hawthrone." My voice cut through the air like ice.
His eyes were wide, "sense when am I anything but Gale to you?"
"You know why, you know very well why." I sized him up, thinking about slugging him in the jaw- but he lifted his hand.
"I'm an officer now. Hitting me would be a crime, Katniss."
"So was blowing up my sister, Gale!" I shouted, emotion deep in my voice. "You're the reason I'm alone! You're the reason I have no family left!" He had saved them for me, then in a cruel act- he had taken them harshly from my grip. "She was only a child..."
He reached out to touch my arm but I yanked myself back. With an eye roll, he gritted his teeth, "you know those weren't my intentions. And it wasn't my fault, Katniss."
I snorted, "Go home, Gale."
"Is there a problem?" Peetas small voice rang from behind Gale, at the foot of the steps.
Gale turned around, meeting Peetas passive expression. "Never." He said quietly. "You look good, Peeta."
"So do you. Big government job?" A swift nod from Gale, "you did well for yourself. Must have been nice never being torchered. Or forced to kill other people in the arena." He let out a bitter laugh. "Or being high jacked into thinking the one person who loves you; wanted to kill you. I'm jealous. I won't lie." He leaned against the thick stone railing, his arms crossed.
Gale stood there and watched Peeta as he spoke. "You were a coward." He said through clenched teeth. "You sided with snow. You sided with the enemy."
"I was doing what I could to keep her safe!" Peeta lashed out quickly. "That's what I've always done, and it's what I always will do... You saved her family? Okay. I saved her. And I basically saved district 13. While being torchered, beaten and starved. Not that this is a contest or anything."
"She loves me-" Gale raised his voice but Peeta cut him off quickly.
"Used to." He said quietly. "She doesn't love you anymore." Gales eyes flickered to me as Peeta continued to talk. "She hasn't loved you for a long time, just think about it."
Gale looked hurt and wounded. "When did you stop...?" He asked me faintly.
I gaped at him, unsure of what to say. I hated him, and I thought he knew. But apparently on some level, he never noticed I blamed him for prims death.
I took a step back and closed the door on both of them, deciding I was better off not saying anything. I hurt to many people already, and no matter how much I hated him, I still couldn't bring myself to tell him I never really loved him...
"Katniss, please...." Gale whispered through the door. "What... I... I just need to know..." His breathing was heavy as I head him shuffling around. "Please..."
"Leave." I said quietly. "Leave, now."
"Katniss, I,"
"Just leave, Gale!" I shouted, clasping a hand over my mouth.
He had done so much for me. He had saved me, been my friend, and even nearly died for me and my family... But I could never forgive him for what he had done.
A soft knock soon followed my thoughts, "Katniss..." Peeta purred. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to start anything..."
"It fine." I muttered through the door, resting my forehead against it. "Is he gone?"
"Yeah, he left... Are you okay?"
"As good as I'll ever be..." I murmured. There was silence between us for a moment as I closed my eyes. "I'm sorry, Peeta... So so sorry..."
"For what?" He asked me quietly.
I allowed down the door, leaning against it. "For leaving you in the games... For not saving you... For not bringing you home with me... For not fulfilling my promise... For letting capital fuck you up..." I choked back a sob as I set my face in my hands.
"Shhhhh Katniss." He cooed from the other side of the door. "I don't blame you. I don't blame anyone but myself. I kept you safe, that's all I wanted... Haymitch kept his promise to me, and that's all I care about. You're safe. You're alive...
You have no clue how happy I was to see your commercial during my broadcast... To hear your voice, Katniss..." He took in a sharp breath, "I had never heard anything so beautiful in my life..."
I set my hand on the door, wishing I had the will power to open it and wrap my arms around the boy I now knew u loved. "How can you even be around me? Is your memory fixed?"
"For the most part." He said quietly. "I remember everything as it was, besides some fuzzy things or memories I have yet to think of..." I heard a rustling, "Katniss, I won't hurt you. I promise. I'll warn you if anything seems off. Okay? You know you can trust me... I just don't want to lose you..."
I wanted to ask him if he still loved me. I wanted to see if all this fighting and messed up stuff from capital had ruined him and made him incapable of trust or love...
"You should go hunting..." Peeta said after the silence. "Clear your head... I'll be at my place." After a long moment, he reluctantly got up and left, leaving me there alone with my thoughts.
