Learning to cope

Chapter 31

Derek's POV:

*3 days after remebering*

Everything came rushing back in a split second, I remember walking from the bar to my car, and a group of young men came up to me. I remember them asking for my money and I said I just spent all that I had, they didn't believe me and then went on to kicking and punching me the rest is all a blur, I remember waking up in a car and then falling unconscious once again and then waking up in the alleyway halfway across town. I remember it all and I really wish I could forget it but I can't and I didn't even get to see their faces without the ski masks they were wearing.

"Derek."

"Derek, if you don't talk soon they are going to have to do a psych consult, come on Derek please talk to me I'm your wife."

I can hear Meredith talking but she won't get it the moment I talk about is the moment I admit to them and to myself that I wasn't good enough to stand up against people who were younger than me, if I talk then I don't think I could stop. The attack replays in my head when I'm awake and when I close my eyes so the best thing I can do is not to sleep.

Meredith's POV:

Derek hasn't slept, talked, or eaten since he had his brain surgery and now I wish that I could cherish the before surgery Derek before he shut himself off from the world. I've never seen him like this before and they are saying if he doesn't at least talk they will do a psych consult and admit him to the psych ward, and I know that is the last thing he wants. I just need him to talk, I just need him to say one word.

I need my husband back.

*5 days*

Derek's POV:

Well, they have given me two more days to talk and as much as I want to, as much as I want to scream blue murder the words are lost and won't dare leave my mouth. The attack is playing through my head all day now, the car I was in, waking up in the street, walking to Grey-Sloan, it all replays, and I couldn't say or do anything then and I can't say or do anything now.

"Derek honey, this is Dr. Jones, she is just going to ask you some questions. They are going to give you a whiteboard if you don't feel up to speaking. I'll be with the kids, I love you."

I want to tell Mer that I love her too but I just couldn't get the words out.

"So Dr.Shepherd or would you prefer Derek?"

God this is going to be a long consult.

*7 days*

Callie- "Okay Derek your broken leg is healing well and is on track for a full recovery but I would like you to keep it elevated and your ribs are going to be sore for a little while longer while they heal but other than that Ortho has nothing else to say."

Meredith- "Thank you, Callie."

Bailey- "Derek your incision is healing up nicely and has shown no sign of infection we are going to keep on you on antibiotics for a while longer and we will go from there."

Meredith- "Thank you, Bailey."

Hearing them all say what my injuries are and how their healing is just bringing me back to how I got them and all the pain I felt with each punch thrown my way and each kick that went to my abdomen if only I didn't spend all my money at Joe's.

Meredith- "Derek, there is someone here to talk to you, then they are going to bring you up to psych okay? I love you,"

*9 days*

Meredith's POV:

"Dr.Grey?"

"Yes?"

"I'm your husband's doctor in the psych ward, can we go somewhere to talk?"

"Sure, uh the conference room is free, is that alright?"

"Yes, that's fine."

Derek has been in the psych ward for about 2 days, there are set times I can visit him so I am trying to keep myself busy with work and the kids when I am not with him, we just need him to do anything other than staring at a wall.

"So Dr.Grey, after running some exams we have come to the conclusion that we believe your husband is suffering from a type of PTSD we are going to sedate him, so he can sleep and see if all he needed was sleep and if not we will go from there."

"Thank you, doctor-"

"Doctor Harris."

"Thank you Doctor please keep me updated, now I have to head home and check on my kids."

*11 days*

Derek's POV:

I hate being up here, treated like I'm crazy or that I am going to break down, I just want to leave, I just need to talk but the words won't come out and my mouth won't open. So I guess I am stuck here until my brain can send the message to my mouth to speak.

"Hi, Derek, so we are just going to give you some sedative so no need to worry just relax."

Sedative why would they need sedative........

*14 days*

I can feel my eyes becoming lighter and then the light shining in my eyes, I can feel someone holding my hand and having their head on my arm, and then the lavender hits me. Meredith is sitting with me, she looks exhausted and I don't blame her I've been a handful than the kids, and work is not a very easy-going combination.

"Mer- Meredith?"

"DEREK! You're awake and- and you're speaking! Oh my god, you're speaking!"

"Yea, I guess I am."

"Let me page Dr. Harris.

//

"Ahhh Derek I seem the sedative has worked but I would still like you to spend some more time here, just so we can keep an eye on you and then have a couple of therapy sessions before we admit back as a surgical patient."

Seriously more time spent in this hell hole, I just want to go home.

Meredith- "Derek I know what you are thinking, and this is for the best okay? The kids and I will be okay you need to get the help you need to get through this. I love you."

I can finally get the words I need to say out to the world.

"I love you too Meredith."

Hi everyone, so sorry for the late update I was busy and couldn't think of how to write this chapter but I hope this was okay :) and wasn't too confusing.

Thank you all so much for the votes and comments it means the world to be nearly at 6.5k reads like woah you guys!

I hope you liked this chapter and if you did don't forget to vote and comment.

Have a great day!

-Cerys