Learning to cope

Chapter 14

Meredith's POV:

I couldn't believe it all this time Derek was alive and well and living in Washington while I was comforting our kids, and dealing with the "loss" of my husband, all while preparing for a third child. I don't really know what to say or how to feel it all feels like a dream like I feel asleep from blood loss and that I'm dreaming that my dead husband is sitting in front of me.

//

"I'm sorry what? I think I'm dreaming or that I have a brain tumor because you died, I was there when they pulled the plug we had a funeral I was there when they lowered the casket, we had a reception.  Or have I gone crazy?"

"You haven't gone crazy I am here alive and sitting in front of you the President made this all up and put an act on."

"You're really alive Derek?"

"I'm really alive and don't plan on going anywhere anytime soon Mer because I love you and Zola, and Bailey and now Ellis, and I will love you and tell you how sorry I am until you forgive me or grow fed up with apologizes." 

"I just had a baby so I'm not sure if I understand completely, but basically you are telling me that you got forced to fake your death and that it wasn't you who they buried under the ground?"

"Well yea, except for the part about burying someone the casket was empty and the tombstone had no name on it and as soon as the funeral was over they removed the tombstone, the president did all this but I had no say because I was kinda unconsciousness during this point."

"Oh Derek, you have no idea how much I missed you I spent nights crying and  I didn't even tell the kids you died I just told them that you were on a work trip, which I guess now is true. Derek, I was so freaked out by doing this whole newborn thing without but here you are and I love you please don't ever leave me again because the first time almost broke me."

" I will never leave you. You and I till we are 100 and in each other's arms we are forever Mer."

"Forever."

//

*Later that night*

I lied in wide awake in my bed with my thoughts. Everything was running wild in my head and couldn't turn it off all I could think about how Derek is here and he isn't leaving me and he didn't leave me. He will be here for our children's lives and will be able to watch them grow up and we would be able to be happy again, although this one good thought kept coming into my head many negatives would join along too, like what if he discovered he liked working at the white house more than being here or if over the time he was away he learned he didn't love and he could live without me.

I know it is stupid but I couldn't help thinking like this, it's what I'm good at something when bad happens I go dark and twisty. And that's what is happening I'm going dark and twisty and no one will understand but Cristina but she isn't here, she is in Switzerland living her life and thriving with her work.

//

More time passed and I still haven't gotten any sleep no matter what I tried to do  I couldn't fall asleep, unlike Derek and Ellis who were both fast asleep, Ellis on top of Derek's stomach while Derek has his arms wrapped around her little figure. I knew once I go back to Seattle Derek and I will be bombarded with questions so I decided to text Alex.

M- Hey Alex, sorry for the late message I can't sleep but I was wondering if you could tell the others about Derek, I just can't go through all the gossip. It would mean a lot to me x.

A- Of course Mer! whatever you need I'm here and try to get some sleep you will need it for the little rascal who will keep you on your toes.

M- I'll try thanks again, Alex.

Now that is dealt with I can finally try and get some sleep but that quickly got interrupted with the feeling of excruciating pain running throughout my abdomen.

Hey everyone! Sorry for the lack of updating this story :/ 

But thank you so much for all the votes/comments/ reads it means so much to me :)

I hope everyone has a great day :)

-Cerys