august

Flashbacks

Taylor woke up her heart racing and in a panic. Feeling like she had just woken up from a nightmare then coming to the realization it was now her reality. She no longer had that beautiful blonde laying on the pillow beside her. She grabbed her phone in hopes she had a message from Karlie. "Why hasn't she even tried to contact me?" She laid her head against the pillow and closed her eyes as a single tear fell down her cheek. 

A few hours later still laying in bed her phone buzzed. She quickly looked at the screen in hopes it was Karlie. "Hey Tay!! Do you and Karlie want to grab coffee today? I messaged her but she hasn't responded. I'm only free for a few hours so let me know." The message from Lilly only made Taylor feel sick to her stomach. How am I supposed to respond to this without her knowing something is off. "Hey Lilly. I'm not feeling well today. I'll catch up with you later." Taylor replied not knowing how to address the Karlie situation and trying to give as little detail as possible in hopes Lilly wouldn't ask questions. She could tell Lilly was writing back. "Please don't ask questions Lilly, PLEASE" she mumbled as she saw the bubbles on her screen. "Okay babe, well if you need anything let me know. Hope you feel better soon." Taylor threw her phone to the end of the bed. She grabbed the note pad and pen sitting on her night stand and started to write. "Saying goodbye is death by a thousand cuts flashbacks waking me up. I get drunk, but it's not enough cause the morning comes and you're not my baby." A tear fell to the paper as she continued writing. The only thing she knew at this moment was she had to get these words out because the paper and pen where the only ones she could speak to about this right now. 

Taylor had spent all day in bed writing, words on the pages smeared from her tears. She grabbed her phone to look at the time. It was 8:30 and still no calls or texts from Karlie. The door bell rang and startled Taylor as she jumped. Who would be here this late she thought to herself, she has an uneasy feeling. She walked over to the door feeling her heart pound faster with every step. Taylor opened the door. 

"Taylor I know you don't want to see me right now. I know I'm probably the last person you want to see." Standing in front of Taylor was that green eyed girl she had been writing songs about all day. Taylor's heart stopped. She didn't know how to react. She was so mad at Karlie but at the same time seeing her face gave her relief from all the pain she'd been feeling since last night. "Karlie what are you doing here?" Karlie's eyes were red. Taylor assumed that was because like herself she had been crying since last night. "Taylor I don't know how to fix this and I know I've messed things up between us more than once. I don't know how to let you go. It doesn't feel right, nothing feels right without you." Taylor knew how she felt. Since last night life just felt wrong. They stood there for a moment looking at one another in silence. Taylor grabbed Karlie's hand and pulled her over to the couch. "Karlie I don't know what to do. I love you but I can't keep telling myself things are going to change between us when we both know there has been too much damage to move past." Karlie knew she has broken Taylor's heart and she wanted to say something that would show Taylor things would be different this time. "Taylor I know I've been a terrible girlfriend. I know I've broken your heart more then I'd like to admit. All I know right now is after last night I've never felt pain like that before. I know you may not trust me right now and I can say all these words that make you feel okay about us but at the end of the day they are only words. Please let me show you things will be different. Give us one more chance. Please Taylor. You know we are worth that. This relationship is worth it." Taylor didn't have a response as she laid her head against Karlie's shoulder. Karlie was okay with that in this moment. She turned her head and as she laid her chin on top of Taylor's head and whispered. 

"I love you Taylor."