𝟕𝟎 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬

𝓪𝔀𝓪𝔂

I woke up in my room, feeling confused. I thought I'd wake up with a headache, but all that drinking water last night must've flushed out my system.
hangover.

I looked at the digital clock next to me through squinted eyes.

7:12.

How had I only gotten 3 hours sleep?

I contemplated getting up, and then my lazy side took the better of me. We had nothing to do today anyway- and mostly everyone is hungover.

****

I swore I could hear shouting. I didn't think I was dreaming still. I rubbed my eyes, and even pinched my hand, just to make sure it was real.

And when I knew it was i sprinted out of bed.

New habits I guess.

By the time i reached the living room I was hot, flustered and scared.

When Tony and Bucky saw me standing there panting they stopped.

"Guys what's going on?" I questioned and they turned to look at me- both red in the face.

Bucky just flashed Tony a look of disgust and then came towards me, walking me out the room.

"Let's go doll." I didn't know where in the tower he was headed, until he opened the door to the piano room, shutting it and immediately bringing his hands to ruffle through his hair.

He paced the room, each time making me more stressed out, until he began to grunt in anger.

"James whats wrong?" I simply asked him, and he carried on pacing.

I got up from where I was perched on a chair, and watched as his movements became more erratic and he started to walk to different places in the room, breathing getting heavier.

When he kicked a leg into the back of a sofa, sending it across the room, I flinched. My mouth dropping a little in shock.

He did it again to another one, letting out a scream through gritted teeth, and I stepped back.

When he turned to me, his eyes were full of hatred. I could see no trace of the James I knew hiding in them. They were hollow and seething black with rage.

He strode towards me, his heavy boots clacking on the wooden surface, like a clock ticking louder and louder.

I took steps back, until I was practically scurrying towards the door.

"James you're scaring me." I sobbed brokenly, until my body hit the wood of the door with enough force to make me grunt.

His metal hand shot out, and I prepared for the pain, shutting my eyes, until all I heard was a crash. When I opened them tentatively, it took a glance to my right shoulder to see that his hand was splayed against the door beside me, splinters and jagged wood around it.

I gasped, and tried to escape under his arm, when it unstuck from the door and reached to grab my wrist, turning me around.

"I'm sorry." He uttered, and i managed to open the door and scurry out, walking to my room with tears in my eyes and a cloudy head, still feeling jittery.

****

"Y/n." I jumped sitting up in my bed, my vision clearing, and finally noticing Bucky right beside it.

I shuffled back onto my hands, as if I was trying to put enough space as I could between the two of us.

"Y/n it's my fault. Oh my god I am so sorry." He said softly, his voice breaking off as he noticed my trembling state.

I put my hands on my knees, trying to stop them from shaking in-front of him, embarrassed.

"Buck. You just- what." I tucked my hair behind my ear and sighed.

"What went on?" I asked. "With Tony."

He gestured to the end of my bed and I nodded as he sat down on it, staring at the wall to the east, not looking at me.

"I'm leaving." He said calmly, and it took me a moment to comprehend what was happening.

"What?" I asked, still not wanting to grasp the reality and gravity of the situation.

"I'm going to England. They have a program there. I'll be gone...... probably no less than 9 months. I'm so sorry." His voice held no resonance with me as my eyes widened.

"A-a program?" I asked him, trying not to sound like my heart was breaking and that I was actually happy for him.

"I told the team. Tony wasn't happy, of course. It's a program for people like me. Therapy. My counsellor, she's been trying to convince me it would be great for me for a while now. I realise I'm making it sound scarier than it is." He smiled a little.

"No. No I'm- im happy for you." My heart sunk.

9 months.

"When do you leave?" I asked, I'd still have time with him obviously. I needed to make enough memories in that time.

"That's the thing. Uh. Tomorrow."

Yikes.

Anything left of my heart was just demolished.

"Oh." I tried not to cry. Tried so hard. But the tears were falling before I could stop them.

"Y/n. I know it's going to be hard." He placed both hands on either of my cheeks, and wiped away the tears.

"But before I go I need to tell you. So you can remember me like this until I come back. I love you y/n. More than you think. I never stopped." We we're both crying at this time, and I did the last thing I'd expect myself to do.

I leaned in, closing the gap, and our lips touched.

"I love you too."

****

We waved him off early morning before his flight, through tears.

Nat was trying her hardest not to break down, I could tell.

I would deal with this. We'd keep in contact.

Only 9 months.

I took a deep breath.