𝟕𝟎 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬

𝓐𝔀𝓪𝓴𝓮 ||

'Awake' But from Steve's perspective.
~~~~~~~~~

I'd been tapping my foot.
Waiting.
Waiting.
Waiting.

"She's awake." Tony came into the living room and I practically ran to the elevator, before Tony grabbed my shoulder stopping me. I could've carried on, i would've carried on, I outweighed Tony, I was stronger.

But, he held something up that immediately caught me eye and made me shiver.
Bucky. His dog tags.
Rusty and scratched and worn from age.
He held them dangling there and I grabbed them off him, mouth open in shock.

"She woke up with them in her pocket. Asked me who James Barnes was. I didn't tell her." He held a fist to his mouth and crosses his other arm over his chest.

I got confused then. He didn't tell her? Well Why- why would she ask who he was?

This set me running again and Tony followed uttering not a word the whole way.

When I entered the room, my whole body just froze up.

There, in a hospital bed just mere feet away from me,
was my sister.
My sister.

Alive and healthy and well and here. Tears formed at my eyes, I didn't try and hide them.

"Who- who is he?" A small smile played at my lips, and I cocked my head.

Ha, a joke. Funny. She hadn't lost her sense of humour.

"Uh........Steve Rogers" Tony replied to her, shooting me a small look from the corner of his eyes.

So when was she going to crack? Snap out of it? Any minute now.........

Y/n remained staring at Tony, looking deep in thought.

I gulped when she looked my way. The look she gave me- it was.......... serious.

From just that look, immediate fear set in and coursed through my whole body. Such a cold contrast from what I was feeling a fraction of a second ago and bringing me so harshly to a realisation I could barely speak.
"She-" I stammered

"Oh my god she doesn't remember." I said, my voice breaking.

I couldn't handle it. What- what was happening. My sister she- she doesn't remember. How? How did this happen? How-

"Remember what?" She questioned and my heart sunk so much I wasn't even sure how it could get any further down to my stomach.

"Remember what?" She asked again, getting agitated, looking straight at me. I looked at Tony a couple of times, reaching and grasping for a way out of this horrible situation.

All I could do was think.
What do I do? What do I do?

"What's-," She began. "What's happening?"

You're gonna have to play along dammit.

"Nothing." I said, composing myself, at least to the outward eye, while my heart broke again and again with every word and every glance she gave me. "Nothing's happening. I made a mistake. I'm sorry." I said trying so hard for my voice not to falter and immediately left the room before I broke down in-front of her and thinking for a second.

I'll give her the tags. Bucky would want that.

So I went back and gave them back to Tony, making sure he got my message through the look I gave him, and purposely not looking at y/n though I could feel her gaze boring ahead at me.

When I left the room and closed the door behind me, I got as far as three floors down and walking down the corridor to the living room before I lost control.

I punched the wall next to me abruptly with a scream, and the tears at my eyes fell. I leant my forehead against where I'd punched through the plaster, and sobbed.

Each cry racked through me, my now bloodied palm resting flat against the cold wall.

I just cried. I screamed and I cried and I fell apart there and then.

What was I supposed to do with this?

My own sister doesn't remember me.

My heart cracked also for Bucky, who had just got all his memories back and was so happy to finally meet his soulmate again only to lose her.

I felt a hand on my back but I didn't turn around. I just poured my whole heart out, crying until my eyes were blurred and my head started to pound.

"Steve?" Bucky's voice was the only one that would have me turning around and as soon as he saw my tear stained and red face his mouth parted a little and his brows furrowed. He didn't say anything- before he just pulled me into a hug.

The anticipation of this conversation to come was killing me. I tried to control my breathing so I could talk and when Bucky pulled back it was relatively steady, though I was still crying just as hard.

"Steve- do you wanna talk about it? Is it about y/n?" Hearing her name made me drop my head and I know Bucky took that as an answer to his question.

"I'm sure it's gonna be hard to get used to. I was just going to see her." He gives me a solemn smile and squeezes my shoulder and hugs me again, starting to walk towards the elevator, looking back to see if I was coming. I stayed there for a moment, really not wanting to have to do this, before looking down at my bloodied hand and charging to Bucky.

I got in-front of him and put a hand on his chest, causing him to stop and furrow his brows.
"What's wrong?" He said and I didn't answer.

"Steve it's okay. I know it's y/n and I know it's gonna be hard for us but we can sort it-,"

"She doesn't remember." I cut him off, my voice numb and quiet. He chuckled quietly.

"Wh- what do you mean. Are you playing some sort of joke on m-,"

"SHE DOES'T REMEMBER!!" I burst out in his face and he flinched back a little, making me immediately feel bad and shake my head.

"Buck-," I cooled my voice and brought a hand to my forehead. I cut off when I looked at him and his eyes were welled up, him swallowing heavily. He just shook his head, again and again, quick and short, chuckling breathily.

"She uh- she. So she- she. Wha-," he broke off in another breathy chuckle.
"She doesn't remember me. She thinks she's Tony's daughter. Buck I- I don't think she'll know you. Her- her memories were obviously......wiped, by HYDRA, when they- tried to.....After she killed....hers-," I cut off, knowing Bucky knew exactly what I was talking about and that I didn't need to trigger him any more by going into more detail about what happened all those years ago.

"So she. Well." A tear fell down his cheek.

"We'll get them back. Shuri, I know she can help. We just have to go to wakanda." Hearing him stammer and his voice cracking made the tears fall harder on my face no matter how hard I tried not to show I was breaking down.

"I thought about that. But she- she won't want to. She doesn't know us. We could get Tony to try and convince her but- we cant trick her into it. The decision. God, as horrible as it is, the decision has to be her's only." I told him.

I know he understood, I know he wouldn't force her to do anything.
But he just wanted her back.

"We'll...........get her back Steve." Bucky confronted me as he pulled me into another hug, sniffling.
"We'll get her back." He said timidly.

"I hope....your right." I said.