The Letters I'll Never Send

Second Letter...This Is Insane

Dear Ed,

Seems like we actually continue with this "project". This is a little bit insane, I won't lie, even when the idea was mine and it helps me pretty good, is kind of crazy that I write letters that I'll never send.

Today I'm not sure at all of what I'll be writting, the beginning is always the hard part, but once you start, putting and end would be the tough thing.
Today I saw you at school, well actually every day I see you, but we never talk, that's maybe the reason why is hard to move on.
Your friends, are also my friends, and in every recess our friends get together, so we get together everyday, it doesn't matter that we don't have the same classes or the same groups, we share friends which is kind of worse. Thank God we have a big group of friends, we are 15 to be precise, so it's not at all necessary to talk, or even to see each other, but I guess since it will be weird to ignore each other —not to mention ill-mannered and uncomfortable—, we greet each other at least. It's not like we talk about exams or teachers, less about our lifes, but something it's something, and for the moment it's enough, I think it would have been more uncomfortable if we didn't even greet, because after all the things we've been trough: talking everyday, messages all afternoons, hugs, calls, kisses; ignoring you would have been awkward and very radical, I guess you feel the same since you greet me too.

But even so it's not enough.

You know I'm jealuos, and I can't bear seeing that slut hugging you, it's just like she talks with you to provoke me! Every single second she spends by your side, talking, joking, laughing, hugging or even just watching you, she uses it to tortured me!, to make me feel jealous, can't you see it? I'll never understand why guys (or at least most of them), can't realize when a girl is using them or when she behaves badly —if you know what I mean—.
Brenda is a complete slut. I've always known it, even before you and I broke up, she was kind of trying to flirt with you, just in case you ask, I protected you from her, let's just say that I warn her. I bet she's swimming in happiness now that we broke up and that she flirts with you while I can't do a single thing, it's not like I have the right to, I shouldn't be jealous, we're nothing but two persons that got friends in common —and a very sweet shared past— and are destinated to be separated.

Maybe the more than the world keeps going, the more that I give up. Some days I'm totally convinced I'll get you back, I tell myself I'll fight for you, but then my realistic and non-hope part brings me to earth and makes me realize ours it's over.
No! I oppose! I won't give up! I don't want to live without you, I look to my future and it seems dark without you on it. Do you think I want a dark future?

You got to fight for the things you love, for your dreams and for what you want. The world won't stop because I'm heartbroken, life it's going to trample me if I don't rise, and society will shout me I'm not enough for you.

Haven't I done everything for you? The ultimate sacrifice, I helped you every single moment and I loved you unconditionally. We are still teenagers, we're still pretty young, a hole life lies down in front of us, but...who assures us the future?, how can I be sure about it?

I love my friends for supporting me, I know they all wish me the best, but how can they know everything would be find? That I'll be better without you? That the right guy is waiting for me? That you don't deserve me? I don't care If you do deserve me or not, as long as you love me everything will be like honey.

I can't believe you actually broke up with me, how could you stop loving me after everything? After swearing me the moon and stars, and true love endlessly?
I still love you, If that makes me a weird girl. I love being that.

Yours, Water Rose.