Dancing with Your Ghost [on hold]

f o u r t e e n

I'm afraid of flying, 'cause I'm afraid of dying
Without gettin' to tell you goodbye
And I could take a Xanax to try and manage the panic
But I'll prob'ly end up wondering why
I'm afraid of waking up to someone breakin' in and takin' every little thing that I love

Fear
- gnash

»»————-　➴　————-««

Having Jeongguk's eyes on him was a whole new sensation in itself.

Taehyung wasn't used to being seen. Both figuratively and literally. Sometimes the boy's undivided attention on him made his skin dance with nerves. And this was definitely one of those moments as Jeongguk stared blatantly at him through the viewfinder of his camera.

The chestnut boy had led him to a spiraling stairwell next to an art museum, where he claimed had a variety of shapes he could experiment with.

Taehyung sat with his legs crossed near the top, gazing down at Jeongguk, who fiddled with his gear. The boy had handed the ravenhead an open umbrella as a prop.

While Socks was asleep, half-buried in the hoodie that Jeongguk ended up taking off and placing on the ground like a cat burrito. At least he had a white shirt underneath because Taehyung was sure his entire being levitated in panic when Jeongguk took off the first layer of clothing.

"Nice necklace," Jeongguk commented suddenly, noticing the accessory through his camera. He pressed a few buttons.

"Oh yeah." The ravenhead reached for it on instinct. "Thanks."

"Did you make it?"

"My friend did. They made it for me."

"You have another human friend?" Jeongguk perked up. There was no trace of jealousy or shock. Just pure curiosity. Just pure Jeongguk. He finally finished setting up his tripod.

Taehyung shook his head. "They're another... ghost like me."

The chestnut boy made eye contact. "How many of you are there?"

He shrugged, uncrossing his limbs. "Just me and my one ghost friend. I don't know why I haven't come across anyone else, actually." He paused, taking a deep breath. "So. When I, um, found out I committed suicide..."

He drifted off when he saw Jeongguk visibly stiffen, all movements ceasing, afraid that how wasn't the time to bring it up again.

But the boy was nodding. "Only if you want to talk about it," he told him gently.

Taehyung let Jeongguk lower himself down on the stairs next to him before leaning against the railing and continuing. "I want to tell you how everything works... if that's okay."

"Yeah. It's okay."

"It's a lot," the ravenhead added, almost as if he himself was fishing for excuses not to continue on this topic. He looked away.

Jeongguk clasped his hands together, craning his neck forward to see Taehyung's face. "You should know by now that I like long explanations on how the universe works," he said with a lopsided grin.

The boy's grins always prompted a smile from Taehyung. His shoulders loosened. "Alright." He organized his thoughts and raised his index and middle finger. "There are two kinds of deaths. Natural deaths— diseases, old age, accidents. And then there's me— those who ended their own lives." He paused. "Name one person you know committed suicide."

Jeongguk's brows scrunched. "I don't think I know anyone..."

"Mhm. Cause in this world, suicide is just a stigmatized idea that simply cannot exist. Therefore whenever it happens, the universe resets." He gestured to himself like a robot explaining his own mechanisms. "Hence I do not exist. Hence everyone who kills themself doesn't exist. They're... removed essentially."