Baddies of the BAU
Derek: if I throw in the towel for my whore days will you guys like me more? 🙄😄😄
Hotch: Just stop flirting with me and the team and we will like you all that much more. Trust me.
JJ: again, you don't act like that irl so stop seeking negative attention baldy mcbalderson 😚😚 fr
Y/n: PLEASE ITS AN INTERVENTION
Reid: Who took my Nutella?
Emily: You're gonna die of type two stg stop eating it like cocaine 💋💋 I didn't touch it though 🧐
Reid: I haven't had it in 2 months, I want some. :(
Y/n: bub just blame Morgan lol
Derek: YO YO YO
Derek: yeah I took it lmao 😚☝🏾🍋 tasty asf on a real note 📝
Reid: Okay..
Hotch: Morgan. Give Spence his Nutella back right now
Derek: NO FUCK YOU 😱😱
Hotch: IN YOUR DREAMS. GIVE IT BACK.
Rossi: Kiddo, arguing with him is like talking to a wall, just get Reid a new one
Emily: omw to the store rn 🥳🥳😍 I gotchu Spencer 🍒🫐🍓 my favorite fruit
Reid: Thank you..? 👾
Derek: I have to be a menace one way or another 🤪🤪😇🤮 ooo yuh yuh yuh
Garcia: chocolate thunder... my big black six pack... no... :(
Emily: penny💀
Derek: we all need to be bullied for good character development, it's reids turn 🧐🥊🥊
Reid: I was bullied throughout all of my school years.. please no.
JJ: LEAVE REID ALONE MORGAN YOU BALD JELLYBEAN MR CLEAN 🙄
Y/n: bald people shouldn't talk tbh 😱😟
Derek: count your mfing days... 👹👹
Y/n: EXCUSE ME? 😭
Emily: nah bc why's he genuinely scary sometimes.. what's that supposed to mean 🧐🧐
JJ: sussy baka?? 😖
Rossi: Baja blasts are really good
Hotch: They're alright, I agree
Derek: ....old people smh 🤧🤕🤕
Hotch: You're a few years younger than me.. okay 👍🏻
Emily: LEAVE HOTCH ALONE? ROSSI IS LIKE 16 YEARS OLDER THAN HOTCH BULLY HIS OLD SELF 🥸
Rossi: ageism
Y/n: #proudageist
Garcia: guys.. D;
Derek: damn hotchiepoo🤕 aight
JJ: ( . Y . ) tbh
Emily: mamas... I agree 💋🤤
Emily: me want sucky sucky now mommy 😙🍒 fuck
Derek: spare milk? Perhaps?
Hotch: I will remove you THEY ARE GAY. LEAVE THEM ALONE.
Reid: I'm confused?
JJ: it's better off that way Spence trust
Reid: hm
Y/n: Emily is just saying she likes milk sweet boy
Reid: Oh! Alright! 👾
Derek: yeah she likes jjs milk AH 🥛 😝
Hotch: Why are you the way that you are?
Rossi: she likes JJs milk..? I don't follow is that a sexual innuendo or something
Emily: 😭💀 please.. I can't
Garcia: oh my :0 uhhh
Y/n: I am tired I vote we have mandatory nap time
Emily: ^^ HOTCH GIVE US NAP TIME. RN. OR ELSE I WILL BEVOME VIOLENT.
Hotch: but you're always violent?
Emily: *EVEN MORE VIOLENT
Hotch: take naps during your lunch break
Y/n: silly old man.. that's when we EAT we need a time for us to SLEEP those are two separate issues 😴 💤 😪
Hotch: Oh yes, my bad, I'll get right on that, of course of course
Emily: finally 🙄🙄☝🏻 thank u
Derek: so who's tryna let me use their titties as a pillow during nap time? 🤕🤞🏾
Rossi: if any of you ever genuinely need to rest for an hour my couch is open to all of you
Hotch: ^, except Morgan bc I know damn well I'll just get harassed the whole time
Derek: know me too well...👹👹👹
Emily: STOP USING THOSE PREDATOR ASS EMOJIS GAH DAMN 😭😨😨
Y/n: PREDATOR ASS EMOJIS PLZZZ 💀💀
JJ: I want a burger tbh
Rossi: I'm Italian
Emily: and? Ur a man get back in the kitchen and make us all food rn
Hotch: ..that was totally not funny
Derek: BAU DILF START CLOSING UR BLINDS WE CAN LITERALLY SEE YOU LAUGHING😝😱😱😱😱😱😱
Rossi: he doesn't close them because he secretly loves the attention of everyone spying on him
Emily: ...
JJ: I thought we aren't supposed to profile eachother?
Hotch: I'm gonna start being mean to you again David. I didn't get attention as a child leave me ALONE.
Y/n: at least he's honest ig 😶 go bestie go !
Derek: and yall are saying that's its ME WHO NEEDS THERAPY?
Emily: YES. VERY MUCH SO. SEEK HELP.🥰🥰🥰
Hotch: ^
JJ: 😭😭
Reid: :) 👾
YOU ARE READING
BAU groupchat + Reader
Fanfictionhow I think the BAU team would text eachother except you're also on the team dealing with their antics Some stuff is out of character and I exaggerated their personalities for comedic value, enjoy!
