🌹And the times we had🌹

8.

I sat down my phone. It's 3 am and all I can think about is him. His smilies, the way he laughed. I'm just thinking about the conversations I would hear between him and the boys. I miss his voice a lot. I feel sad. I hate it, I can't stop thinking about him. Thinking back on what I did and if I said the wrong thing. It's been 3 hours and I still can't sleep.

I stare at the ceiling and picture him there. All while he's kissing some blonde. It hurts. I keep thinking about him. Every night he fills my head with his smile, his long beautiful hair. I feel alone without him. I wish he could come back and we could just stay in my room forever and never leave. That's considered kidnapping.

There's not a day that goes by without me thinking about him. I was so used to seeing him and now I have to adjust without him.

I don't get any sleep. I feel my self drifting off but then my alarm scares me. I jerk up while my heart beats really fast. I turned it off. I just stay in bed. I didn't feel like getting up and walking into that school, but I had to. I got up and put some clothes on, brushed my teeth. And I got on the bus. I loved the bus it was relaxing to me.

I got off and walked to my locker. Got my books and went to first period. I walked in and my head already started to hurt from the lack of sleep. I sat beside Sam and she went on and on about her and the fight she had with Izzy. I wanted to be here to help her. But my heart was hurt. I could help her when I didn't know how to help myself. What's the point of this? Life? What's the point when the person I want and maybe have feelings for is not here?

Maybe I'm meant to feel this for someone else. To love another person. But I can't imagine myself feeling the way I feel for Axl with another boy. I want to be with Axl. I've did it all. I cried I'm the shower many times and felt so sad. To the point where I just want to lay in bed all day and sleep. I just want to sleep forever. But even in my dreams he appears. I can't escape him. Even in my dreams.

Somehow they make me happy, but mostly sad. He's probably partying while my heart breaks everyday because of him. He's bad and good for me. But I don't care if his a little bad. Because I've never felt this way before for anyone. It's like a whole new feeling. Sure boys liked me and I liked them back. But this was not a like. It was more than that. I felt almost most in love I guess you would say. Does love feel this way? Am I in love with Axl? Yes I am. But it's to late.

When I walk into my school, I already feel my head start to throb. Over and over it hurts everyday. I didn't matter how much sleep I got. Or if I was in a good state of mind. Somehow I always ended up with a really bad headache.

I saw Sam and smiled at her. She looked at me with sad eyes. "Are you ok" we sat down at the table, not even bothering getting breakfast. "Yeah" I say trying to convince her. She new I was not but she didn't anything because wow as exhausted already with this conversation, was already exhausted with the world. I felt my mind drifting off to his name, then what he looks like even his voice.

"Wanna come over to my house after school?" Sam asked me. What could it hurt? I need to stop this stupid game with Axl. "Sure" I smile I stood up and walked off to my class.

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Guys I'm sorry. I've been trough a lot for the pass couple of months. Anyways I'm back. <3

Word count: 711