Love Me With All of Your Heart

Chapter 1

Beam

I sit in the corner of the bar, watching my friends laughing and talking to each other. They each have their partner and don't stop acting lovey dovey towards each other. I sighed, being a fifth wheel is not a good feeling, especially when actually I do have my own boyfriend, whose missing in action right now.

I sip my beer and grab some peanuts. They're all my only entertainment now. I really wanted to go home, but I didn't bring my car. Kit and Pha picked me up and they forced me to join them because they knew I was going to be alone at the condo. My boyfriend is going home to his parents and he didn't take me with him. Well... he never did anyway.

It has been eight months that I am in a relationship with Forth Jaturapoom. I had a crush on him since freshman year and kept on crushing on him for a year before I finally had my chance. You see, Forth was in love with Wayo, our junior, but Wayo loved Phana, one of my best friends. Forth was brokenhearted and I took that chance. I never regret my decision for being with him. He is my dream guy. I never knew that I was gay until I saw him. He was a kind man, a bit cold and distant, but I knew he cared about me. He never said he loves me. He was never good with words, but I don't mind. I knew he loves me in his own way.

I knew I sound pathetic. But I love him so much, I am willing to take crumbs of his attention. I don't mind that he doesn't have enough time for me, or never show his affection to me in public. Even behind closed doors, he never did anything outrages.

His touch is soft and gentle. He never kissed me breathlessly. He never pushes me on the bed and ravish me with lust like they did in the movies. Our relationship is more like best friends than boyfriends. I was the one who initiates almost all the intimacy between us. I was once trying to lean on him in front of our friends, but he gently pushes me away. I made no fuss about it. He just doesn't want any public display affection. No matter how sad I was, I didn't show it to him. I just smiled and let it go.

"P'Beam, are you okay?"

I turn to see Wayo is standing next to me with concern eyes. This kid is truly an angel. He left his boyfriend just to check on me. He was my junior in high school and he told me once that he idolized me. How I wanted to tell him that there is nothing to be idolized about me. I am just an ordinary guy, nothing special about me...

"I'm doing great, N'Yo. I just enjoyed my beer," I chuckled. "Go back to your man. He watches us like a hawk."

Yo smiled a little and pat my arm gently before he went back to his boyfriend, left me daydreaming.

I still remember the first day I saw Forth...

That day, Kit and I accompanied Phana to the Moon and Star Competition rehearsal. All of us from Medical Faculty chose Pha to be our representative in the competition. Pha accepted that but demand that his two best friends, which are Kit and me, to be with him during every rehearsal. Our seniors gladly let us, especially because they knew they can make us their helpers. Yeah, damn you Pha.

I and Kit helped the seniors with simple job, like serving drinks and snacks and made some photocopies sheets. I was tasked to serve drinks to the exhausted contestants when my eyes caught a wonderful view in front of me.

This guy is tall, that's the first thing I noticed. I'm not short myself, my height is 175 cm. But next to him, I look tiny. He has a dark skin and a handsome face. He is the epitome of tall, dark, and handsome. He has a gummy smile that makes my tummy feels weird.

I must have been looked like a loon because he snapped his fingers in front of my face and laughed.

I smiled to cover my nervousness. "Drink?"