Love and Redemption (Completed)

The Cross

"Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28

I watched the tears drop on my hands as I tried to control them and I wondered about the words that just came out of my mouth. I soon saw someone out of the corner of my left eye and I hurriedly wiped my face. 

"It's okay, I've seen a lot of tears in this place," the male voice said. I looked up to see who was talking. It was an older guy, maybe in his older thirties, and he was wearing tennis shoes, jeans, and a button down shirt with the sleeves halfway rolled up. "Do you want to talk?"

I shook my head and looked back down. He sat on the stairs in front of me that lead up to the stage. I clasped my hands together tightly to keep them from shaking. He seemed to notice my struggle.

"I'm Pastor Mike, but you can just call me Mike. What's your name?"

I took a deep breath, "Chloe."

"It's nice to meet you, Chloe."

"You too," I mumbled as I kept staring at my hands.

"I can see you're in pain, Chloe. I can see a darkness around you that is weighing you down. I can tell you that I was once in a bad place too. A place with no way out."

"You have no idea how I feel," I said as I looked up at him. Why do people keeping thinking they can sympathize with me, "you have no idea what I'm going through."

"No, I don't," he said, "but I do know one thing. You came to the right place."

I felt the sobs begin to build. I dropped my head again and desperately tried to hold them in.

"Let it go," Mike said as he placed a hand on my shoulder, "let Him have it all."

"Why would He want me," I said as one sob escaped. I looked back up at Mike and saw the tears in his eyes, "I am a horrible person. I've done horrible things."

I couldn't stop the flow of words coming out of me, nor could I stop the sobs that followed.

"I've lied, I've cheated, I've stolen. I have sold my own body for things I've wanted. I have done unspeakable things for drugs, booze, sex, whatever. I have bad mouthed everyone I've come in contact with, I've used sex as a weapon..." I dropped my head as the sobs escaping me choked me up, when I could speak again I continued to pore out my heart. "I just tried to take my own life. How... how could someone like Him want someone like me? I'm broken..."

I cried. I cried out every cry I held in for eighteen years. I dropped my heart and soul on the floor until there was nothing left in me. When I composed myself a bit I looked back up and saw the tears streaming down Mike's face. He still held my shoulder.

"He wants us because He loves us. For all have fallen short, stumbled, and turned their back on God. However, He is always there waiting for us. He never leaves us, we leave Him. His love for us looks past all the wrongs we have done. When we confess, repent, and turn from our ways we welcomes us with open arms. Our sins and short comings are thrown as far as the East is from the West." Mike said gently. 

"How do you know?" I asked with a sob.

"Because," he said with a slight grin, "I am living proof at how great our God is. I used to be a drug dealer. I was hooked on drugs. I am responsible for ruining the lives of so many young teens. But God came to me in the form of my father in law, though I didn't know that at the time," he chuckled.

"I turned from my ways, and now I spend all my time teaching His good word to teens. It was a hard journey, it still is a hard journey. But I can tell you, with God beside us, nothing can stand against us. For the pain we go through now, cannot compare to the joy we will have with Him one day."

"Do you promise?" I asked hesitantly. Last thing I needed was empty words.

"I can't promise it will be easy, but I can promise that when we live for God, He will never leave us." Mike smiled. "Do you want to claim His promises?"

"I do," I said, trembling.

"Repeat after me then. It's the sinner's prayer." I nodded as he continued. I repeated the words after him and sobbed a few more times. I felt all the burdens I carried being lifted away and my heart didn't hurt so bad anymore. For the first time in my life I felt free. 

When we finished the prayer Mike knelt down beside me and pulled me in for a hug. I cried against his shoulder, but these tears were ones of joy. He pulled away, asked if I was okay, then stood and left to give me some time to myself. I stared up at the cross and my heart was thankful. 

I wasn't sure how to pray or what to pray so I just offered a small thank you. I wiped away the rest of the tears and got to my feet. I was still trembling a bit from the emotional turmoil I had just gone through, but I felt so much better. When I turned to leave I was floored to see who was sitting in the back pew.

Noah slowly stood up and came over to me. He had been crying, I could see it on his face. 

"How much did you hear?" I asked quietly.

"All of it," he answered.

The tears welled up again and I dropped my head in shame. He had heard my darkest secrets, my most private mistakes. I fully expected him to shun me immediately. Instead he wrapped me in a hug.

"I had no idea you had been through so much, but I do know that God is so good," he said.

I nodded against him, as another sob choked me up again. When he pulled away he gently wiped a tear away and smiled.

"Welcome to the family of God, sweet Chloe."

***

The Sinner's Prayer:

Dear Lord Jesus, I know that I am a sinner, and I ask for Your forgiveness. I believe You died for my sins and rose from the dead. I turn from my sins and invite You to come into my heart and life. I want to trust and follow You as my Lord and Savior.