Sampaguita

a budding hope

Hope is like a new profound beginning of forming something stronger; it's almost as beautiful as the budding of a new flower from its mother flower...

The sun rises from the east as Chesa locks the diary with a tiny key wrapped around her neck. She peeks her head outside the windowsill to appreciate a morning that will be different from the rest; a morning that will not only consist of long working hours. She closes the window and heads out her bedroom to make breakfast for herself and her little Malaya. The smell of freshly baked pandesal and two tapsilog meals lingers the kitchen with an aroma that could easily satisfy their hunger. 

As Chesa finishes setting up the table, the little girl wakes up from her slumber as she walks out of her bedroom with a giddy smile. Chesa places the meals in an orderly manner as she and her daughter sit down on their seats for a prayer of thanksgiving. Afterwards, they start having their lovely breakfast.

"Mother? May I tell you about something that I found last night?" The daughter asks in a curious voice that shooks her mother by surprise. "Sure, my Malaya... I'm all eyes and ears for it." Her mind couldn't process what is happening as her Malaya doesn't usually express curiosity to her. "Well, I found this old photo on the kitchen counter and I was wondering if you know the story behind it." Malaya reaches down in her pocket to hand out a polaroid photo of a young girl, almost the same age as her, running through a field of sampaguitas.

Chesa's face starts to swell up as she caresses the photo into her sweaty palms as if she is embracing a loved one. She fights off the tears to show no sign of weakness but, at this point, she has to confess the secret of her sister. "Malaya.. this is your tita, Althea.. I've been wanting to tell you about her for quite a while, but I didn't have the courage to... I'm also planning to go there with you to find answers... I can't tell you much more so I hope you understand." Silence fills the room and that is enough of an answer for her.

The silence continues filling the dining table as the two nibble on their last few bites of tapa. Chesa wants to say more but that gnawing feeling in her chest continues growing stronger even after confessing. Meanwhile, Malaya's curiosity starts to kill her slowly on the inside, since mothers don't really keep secrets from their daughters as her own mother would say. The mother and daughter finish up their meals and head off to the car where the silence just continues even worse than before.

This isn't normal... This is usually the most fun part of the day, but somehow this car ride is drained out of its energy, but, who cares? The silence will just fizzle out anyway like carbonated soda that's been shaken aggressively; it will just die out eventually.

Chesa drops her out to school without even saying a word to each other. Malaya slams the car door in front of her mother as she walks to the school door without a care in the world, not even looking back to where she came from. Chesa drives to her workplace and arrives with a discernible look on her face. She rides up an elevator clutching her hand tightly onto the side railings, making her hand as pale as snow. She never really likes the idea of being trapped in a box for long periods of time; I mean, who could blame her? She used to live a life of running through fields of flowers.

"Hey Ches-ches! How ya doing there?" He enters the elevator with her as Chesa "greets" in return. "Good morning, Vermont.. Ugh, you really have to call me that." Vermont responded jokingly, "Yep! You know me." They go out of the elevator and continue conversing from there. Chesa loves the conversations she would have with him even outside of work.  

From the laughable conversations and to the most serious ones, she would value those for an entire lifetime. They always trusted each other as they've done this for several years ever since Chesa was hired as an employee but, this time, Chesa decides to share "the secret" that has burdened her for years.

"Umm.. Vermont," Chesa asks with a discerned look, "I need to tell you a secret that I've been keeping for quite some time,"

Vermont answers politely, "Oh. Sure! I mean, you usually tell me your secrets so go ahead."

"Ok," Her words choke out for a moment as if she hasn't learnt how to breathe, "I have a sister named Althea... She currently lives in our home province and I've been wanting to visit her for quite some time even though I mistook her." Vermont didn't really understand the weight of her words as he responds with ease,

"Well, why haven't you told me this before? I'm totally fine with your decision."

"Yo- you don't understand-" Vermont interrupts her and gives her a meaningful embrace,

"And besides, she is your sister, so you don't have to worry about anything!"

"Thanks... I really needed that..." She wanted to say more, but she just stood in awe feeling the warmth of the embrace,

"No problem Ches-ches! I'm glad you took the time to tell me."

They let go of each other's arms and proceed to go their separate ways. It's nice to know that there is a true best friend that will always be there by your side. She always wants that to be her and her sister; it will never happen though and she's sure of it. His words however, give her a spark of hope that maybe, there will be a chance to recuperate a broken relationship. It's like replanting the seeds of a dying flower; sometimes starting fresh is the key to a budding hope.

The day comes to an end as she makes her way to the car to pick up Malaya at school. She drives on the road with traffic that could make someone lose their mind, but this is normal for a sub-urban lifestyle. She arrives at the school and her daughter walks toward the vehicle feeling somewhat normal even after what happened a while ago. The car ride continued with complete silence until Malaya spoke, "Hey.. ma.. I'm sorry about not saying anything about tita.. I just didn't know what to think of it." Chesa pats her head and responds in a gentle voice,

"It's ok anak, you don't need to apologize... I'm sorry for taking you by surprise... Don't worry.. I'll tell you the whole story of the photo when we get home." 

Malaya responds understandingly, "Take your time, ma. You don't need to tell me immediately... I'm sure you're tired from having to write news stories all day." Chesa answers in relief, "Thank you anak.. I love you." Malaya rests her head on the side of the window looking into the passing cars and says, "I love you too Ma..." She slowly falls into a peaceful sleep and the car ride continues with a peaceful aura of silence.

They arrive at home with the sun setting behind them in the distance. This doesn't usually happen and when it does, it symbolises a good omen to say the least. Chesa wakes up Malaya from her sleep, startling the young girl as her dreams are interrupted. They get out of the car, feeling tiresome after a long day. A sleepy Malaya immediately has gone to her bedroom to continue her lucid dreaming, but her mother doesn't do the same. 

"Well, things have been quite interesting today. My Malaya had been quite distant during the start of the day, but somehow, she seems pretty normal at the end of the day. How does she do it? I was literally on the verge of tears during breakfast and yet she somehow kept her composure without saying a single word. Maybe that's how teenage girls act these days but, I digress. I'm glad Vermont understood where I came from. He is probably the nicest and patient person that I will ever meet in my lifetime; other than my sister. Speaking of my sister, I can't wait to go visit her at the weekends! I hope she'll forgive me after what I had done to her... I wish I didn't do that to her..."

She gently tucks the photo between the pages of the diary. It becomes a reminder of the lost years that she was supposed to have with her; the memories that could've been made if she didn't do it. The bookmark somehow gives her hope as she spots a small bud growing from the stem of its mother flower...