Depressing Rounds

Poem 49: Life's Unfair

I'm done, I've lived enough of fun
Now I'm on the run
Ever since she saw me speak to
What's her name?
God why is beautiful so jealous
Fucking zealous how she's compare sluts to us
Problems, and more problems,
But no answers
Why?
Maybe that's yet another problem
Fucking I've had a monster,
A monster talking to me
Life's the ultimate enigma

She yells at me, scary
And bluntly I stare at my shoes
Drained of all emotions, besides pain
Why am I being scolded for doing nothing?
I'm so tired and at this point not paying attention
I'm getting tired of the tension
I then ask
"Why are you like this?"
At this she's done but she's not the one,
The one to deal with both my and her problems
Whenever she was with her friends
I was never one to mention
She never spoke to me, clearly
At that moment it was over...

Now filled with anger
I am beginning to feel younger
Younger due to my behavior
For I am flipping out, throwing things
Begging for her to come back
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it,"
But when have I?
I can't with this girl, I'm so full of pain
I reach for the pills, barely able to keep sane

My thoughts are again speaking to me:
Hey there boy, it's been a while
No, no, no, no! It's not you! I manage
These thoughts begin their normal speech
Making me question my sanity along with humanity
How can this of been hidden in my head
I need to go to bed, why is my vision blurred
It then said something I never heard:
I love you, come on I'm the only one for you
No, fuck you! Lies!
Why can't I collect my thoughts
I'm on to much antidepressants to even process anything
Come on, give me your life
We can be together forever
Please my darling,
By then, I'm ripping out my hair
In the end,
I never was her friend
I just say, "life's unfair"
Again I study my shoes
Then kick out the chair
Hoping my noose wasn't too loose