Her Eradicated Intellect.

Seeing The Unremembered.

Her life seemed so different after all that time. As if the world had turned upside down but everyone was still standing. It was the feeling of a routine being disturbed and suddenly becoming distracted. Losing one part of a routine held a hefty weight against the young girl.

 Her days became shorter, lonelier and much more boring. It was like the direction of her life changed to south rather than north. Just like how something is positively incomplete without a certain component. That's when she realized, she was the puppet. He controlled her every move, the emotions that were chosen to shine through and even her thought process was corrupted by him.

 Their conversations would last for hours on end. The simplest things made her happy, even if he just said hey. Their conversations had no meaning, it was pointless and irrelevant compared to any importance in life. They usually sent random letter of the alphabet back and forth, refusing to say goodbye. His favorite words were "ok," "lol" and "yea." He constantly sent those words to get a reaction out of her, to make her suck her teeth or stop answering. Because the one thing he enjoyed the most was comforting her. Pitying her because he knew it made her feel better.

 There was one conversation the two shared which would forever be tattooed in the depths of her thoughts and hearts. Their conversation started off as silly and childish and ended up becoming deep and intimate.

 The day was young and bright, the early morning breeze tapping against the glass window. It might have been 6 in the morning, maybe even 4. Time had no priority when it came to him. By now their proper conversations had turned into nonsense. He sent at least 50 messages in a row just saying those three words that aggravated her the most. She purposely left the messages open as the sides of her mouth curved into a smile. Finally when he decided to give up, he messaged her with some proper words.

"I hope you didn't fall asleep," he said to her. A small giggle escaped her lips as she shook her head side to side.

"I'm exhausted. Goodnight." The young woman was a little exhausted; it surely had been more than 24 hours since she had been awake. She had a body of an old person, getting tired by 9 pm and then waking up early in the morning.

"Don't leave me. Stay. Please stay." The words that she received from him lost the impish tone that it usually held. The tone moved into a more tranquil and crucial. He told her that too many people left him all at once. He wanted her to stay, that he enjoyed her company even when it seemed like it didn't. The red, beating shape in her chest felt like a lily pad on top of a spring infused pond. So that's what it felt to mean something special to someone, she thought. And so she did exactly as he asked, she stayed until he peacefully fell asleep.

 As the days passed the wanted was no longer wanted anymore. The young girl was like a teddy bear to a small child. It was comforting to the infant in times of sadness, happiness and everything in between. But then the infant gets bored, the bear couldn't keep them peaceful any longer. That's when the temper flies through the little body and the teddy bear ends up on the floor, beside the bed. And that is what happened to the young girl. It was weird being replaced so quickly and anonymously, without a fair warning. Instead of telling her to stay by his side, he was telling her to leave.

 Slowly and then all at once, communication got cut off completely. The daily morning of hide and seek had gone in vain. Instead, he was always hiding and she was the one continuously seeking. Every morning they shared texts to come and find each other. The clues they gave each other were never accurate. But somehow, someway, they found each other. Always. In the afternoon she would see him and they would be physically entwined, lost in each other. As if everything around them suddenly disintegrated into the air. In person the two were far from romantic besides the tight hugs they shared. Usually she would tease him about something and he'd to the same. Yet the moments shared between the two were like popping out of a fairytale book. Before it was time to part ways, the spent their time with each other. It was the rare time of day where his friends were long gone and hers were mission in action. They always cherished that time whether it be for 5 minutes or 15 minutes.

 His arms were like a coat, warm and enclosed around a single body. His cheek brushed gently against the top of her head a few times, she could feel the smile on his face. It wasn't easy to let him go and she used to think he felt the same way. Their hugs would last for eternities if no one interrupted them. It felt nice to be held and for her hair to be caressed, by him especially.

That became another bridge in the young woman's routine. Getting used to the fact that the cute text messages were buried. Their childlike mornings had changed into something that never existed, just a myth. The hugs and cuddle-like moments they shared were only remembered as past memories that no one really knew if it actually happened or not. The most difficult part was coming to terms with the fact that everything was all over, once and for all.

 Their hearts that were once connected had unplugged from the outlet. That feeling she used to get when she saw him vanished. Instead of her insides becoming all tingly and mushy, it felt like a knife jabbing her heart endless times. All that filled her mind was regret and sorrow. While she was focused on him, his feelings and even his presence, she hadn't crossed his mind once. It was incomprehensible how easily a person could be erased from the human mind, to not be reminded of all that happened or to not even have a pinch of regret. All day she pondered about him, was he okay? Was he happy or upset? Did he get into an argument with anyone, was he angry? When the moment came to face him, he seemed absolutely normal. It was a wash of relief to know that he was alright. The most melancholic moment of it all was how her existence was invisible to him. He walked past her without a glance, without a touch as if she were a ghost. In the few seconds of realizing what had just happened, she felt 6ft into the ground.

 The thought of how someone could just move on without evening looking back made her think deeper. What exactly had she done to deserve this treatment? Sure she had made many mistakes in the past but she repented for all of them. Perhaps this was just her late karma. Even so, the thought distracted her from everything. Slowly but surely her self-esteem began to wither away in small pieces. It was more than clear that she needed to move on without looking back, but she was the type of person who the most with losing people. Someone could shoot her in the heart and she would still forgive them, afraid to lose their presence. Trying to disregard someone that tattooed themselves into her heart, her mind and her soul would forever baffle her. She knew she needed to incinerate the wood to ashes but it wouldn't happen immediately. To save her from the depression that threatened to invade, it was essential to find a way out and do it courageously.